Red (Davekat)

Finally

<Be our depressed Karkles>

The weeks following the break between the fucking best ship since goddamn frerard or some shit seemed to drag on for forever. I had nothing to do. I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't really talk to anyone. Sometimes, I would work on homework just to give myself something to do.

I nearly forgot about the chemistry project I had to do with Dave until he had messaged me about it, asking if I had done my part. I hadn't, but I lied and said I'd give it to him the next day just so that he wouldn't try to help me. I didn't feel like speaking to him. Honestly, I didn't feel like speaking to anyone else either.

I overthought a lot. I often wondered how the hell this break would end. Would he tell me that it wasn't meant to be? Would we get back together? How does anyone even begin to have these conversations. On the days where Dave and I would be in school at the same time, we would mostly avoid each other. I spent more time with Terezi and Nepeta for the most part because they were the only two people I knew who weren't in relationships. At least, not that I knew of.

It took about three weeks before I started to reflect on my issues with Dave. It took even longer for me to come to terms with the fact that I was a part of our problems. I couldn't think of a single time where I had just reassured him that he was being a good boyfriend. I rarely complimented him or actively tried to seek him out. I was always so focused on what HE was doing wrong and what HE could improve on. I never thought to look at myself.

The amount of times I told him to go fuck himself and the amount of times I would scream at him for no reason didn't make me deserving of his affection. I knew this, and yet I still did it. He always hid his reactions behind sarcasm and blank expressions, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was hurting him, even if neither of us really knew it. Considering all of that from an outsider's perspective, it's no wonder that all of that tension just blew up in our faces.

I knew that no amount of apologies would make everything I did to him justified. Dave always put me first. For as long as I'd known him, he would never hesitate to put his own needs aside for any minor inconveniences that I encountered and I just turned a blind eye to it. I would even beat him down for it.

The times that I was with Dave were always the happiest. Whether it was something as small as him just holding my hand or giving me his jacket, or something like stealing me away from my home in the dead of night, as long as I was with him, I was happy. I spent so much time pitying myself that I didn't see a good thing when it was sitting right in front of me with stupid silvery-blond hair and gorgeous ruby eyes.

Tearing up, I pulled my knees up to my chest as it felt like every good memory I had with Dave played through my head. I regretted every stupid thing I had ever done to him. What made me feel worse was that I knew that no matter what I did to him, he would always take me back into his warm embrace.

Nervously grabbing onto my phone, I unlocked it. My thumb hovered over the phone app as I stared at my wallpaper, heart beating rapidly. Steeling myself, I pulled Dave's number up from my contacts and dialed it, nervously pressing the phone to my ear.

It rang once.

Twice.

There was a beep, "Karkat?"

The voice on the other end of the line caused my heart to burst and I nearly broke down in pathetic sobs, "h-hey fucker."

There was a weak chuckle, "Hey there, Karkles. What's up?"

"i just.... do you wanna talk for a bit?"

I didn't care if we got back together. I just needed to talk to him and finally show him that I cared about him. I was sick of the constant realization that I was horrible to him, so all I wanted was to try and make it right. At the very least, I wanted to start trying.

A silent half-second pause met my question before I heard a relieved sigh, "Yea, Karks... I think I'd like that."

Fin

Lol wassup y'all? Major respect for you if you're still reading this fic. I'm going to mark this as the end because this fanfiction has been going on for a while and my writing style has changed a lot, so I keep trying to make it consistent which makes it worse. It's been running out of steam for a while so I kinda had to finish it. I'll probably be working on other fanfiction, but I'm not so sure if it will be Homestuck related. I've been going through some shit that has kind of... Tainted my view on the franchise.

Thank you so much for reading this. I hope that you enjoyed it. This has been a project in the making for 3 years and I'm amazed that it got read to begin with.

Again, thank you so much. I'll see you in the next one 💜

(Also, if you're into Genshin Impact or Ace Attorney, I've been working on some fanfics for a friend that I'll post here soon. Love you guys!)