20.12.20
Deep down it always hurts
among the warmth and the chatter
there's always one question: how did you do on your exams?
Every time, it always hurts.
I'm happy for them, I am,
but there's this twinge of disappointment
I'm standing right there, but it's like I fold back into myself.
Everything they're saying becomes distant and blurry
outside I'm nodding along, smiling as I give routine replies,
inside I'm beating myself up.
So angry, so sad
Desperately trying so hard not to cry
telling myself over and over not to care,
but the first thought that always comes to mind is Failure:
"You couldn't even pass"
I know I shouldn't believe them,
but you can't fake a thought.
Not even one that lies.
YOU ARE READING
4. Memories and Feelings That Still Haunt Me
PoetryI've cried too hard for too long as I debated death. Over and over, all I wanted was a quick overdose, a quick way to escape the pain. Until the guilt set it and made me realise, suicide feels too selfish. Instead I turned my sadness into art and my...
