16.01.21
It feels like the older I am the worst it gets.
Trying so hard to have control and order,
but it doesn't work like that.
Constantly on the verge of having another attack
it's getting harder and harder to calm down.
I know, I'm neurotic as heck.
Trying to ignore all that's irritating,
always feeling antsy, I wish it was the coffee.
All these feelings, it's becoming routine
it's the same damn thing every day,
but each day is different, it's harder to cope.
It's wanting to scream at everything in my mind,
anxiety cranked up to 90
what do I even do?
It's getting to a scary point
where I can't predict what I'm going to do.
Thinking I'm okay,
I'm not. I'm not.
The tiniest thing will set me off.
Breath, that's all I can do,
but breathing doesn't help much
when I don't know what to feel.
My mind never stops
JUST STOP!
This is getting too much to handle,
but I can't escape this Hell that's mental.
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4. Memories and Feelings That Still Haunt Me
PoetryI've cried too hard for too long as I debated death. Over and over, all I wanted was a quick overdose, a quick way to escape the pain. Until the guilt set it and made me realise, suicide feels too selfish. Instead I turned my sadness into art and my...
