06.12.20
It's an endless circle,
I can't stop thinking.
Yes? No? Yes? No?
Can I do this? Am I ready?
What if I can't?
Yes ? No? Yes? No?
Over and over it goes.
I can't sleep, it's hard to function.
Always thinking
I'm stuck in a circle,
of what ifs? And who knows?
To be or not to be?
To try or to fail?
To cut myself short, or go to the end of the line?
I can't do it, I don't know how.
What if I fail? What if I crash and burn?
Yes ? No? Yes? No?
I can't do it.
I just don't know.
To put myself out there, to try my best,
what if? What if? What if?
The same thoughts play again in my head.
I'm scared, I'm so tired
my head hurts and everything feels grey,
Every day and every night
it's the same thoughts that go round and round my head.
I shouldn't doubt myself, but I can't help it
I'm scared.
Yes? No? Yes?
It's a vicious vicious circle going round my head.
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4. Memories and Feelings That Still Haunt Me
PoetryI've cried too hard for too long as I debated death. Over and over, all I wanted was a quick overdose, a quick way to escape the pain. Until the guilt set it and made me realise, suicide feels too selfish. Instead I turned my sadness into art and my...
