27.10.20
There's so much that I haven't said.
It just doesn't feel as big or significant than anything else I say,
but I still remember it all clear as day.
I feel like I can't rely on what I remember,
I see something with my own two eyes,
but I'm told something different after it happens.
I nodded on with their lies,
silently doubting what I saw even though the memory plays on in my head making me feel guilty for not speaking the truth.
I've learned to doubt my own mind,
after all there's too many gaps placed there from trauma and shock.
I never knew what to do, so I just turned a blind eye.
Pretending everything was normal,
staring straight ahead with tears rolling out of my eyes while I scream on the inside.
I never knew how hard it was to speak up
until finally, it was my turn and I messed everything up.
YOU ARE READING
4. Memories and Feelings That Still Haunt Me
PoetryI've cried too hard for too long as I debated death. Over and over, all I wanted was a quick overdose, a quick way to escape the pain. Until the guilt set it and made me realise, suicide feels too selfish. Instead I turned my sadness into art and my...
