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4. Memories and Feelings That Still Haunt Me

Puisi

I've cried too hard for too long as I debated death. Over and over, all I wanted was a quick overdose, a quick way to escape the pain. Until the guilt set it and made me realise, suicide feels too selfish. Instead I turned my sadness into art and my...

#abuse #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdiscorder #originalwork #poetry #relapsing #triggerwarning

There Was A Time

6 0 0

by Sweet_Cinnamon17

by Sweet_Cinnamon17

11.10.20

There was a time I stopped smiling.

There was a time I couldn't stop crying.

There was a time I carved words into my skin, like I did with my wall.

There was a time that at 9 years old I wanted to die.

There was a time I wanted to go on a train, one that would take me far far away.

There was a time I got back up and kept going.

And when I got better I realised,

in that time nobody noticed just how close I was,

to death.

The treated my blank, unsmiling face like a joke, and I laughed along with them.

They didn't question my red eyes and wet lashes, or they didn't bother asking.

They saw my healing scars and called me attention seeking and fake.

The told me to stop messing around on that window ledge in the same tone they used when I made a mess.

After all they did, it's a miracle I picked myself up

and kept going