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4. Memories and Feelings That Still Haunt Me

Poetry

I've cried too hard for too long as I debated death. Over and over, all I wanted was a quick overdose, a quick way to escape the pain. Until the guilt set it and made me realise, suicide feels too selfish. Instead I turned my sadness into art and my...

#abuse #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdiscorder #originalwork #poetry #relapsing #triggerwarning

After Friday

3 0 0

by Sweet_Cinnamon17

by Sweet_Cinnamon17

30.01.21

I know I shouldn't have said anything.

I knew I got too emotionally invested,

and now I have to see him every week.

Almost bumping into him in the staff room,

hearing him in the next class,

seeing him.

It hurts so much.

I can't help it

I'm so depressed thinking about it.

I think, I really liked him,

but it will hurt less this way.

I couldn't guarantee my happiness

I couldn't hurt myself more.

I just hope all of this will fade eventually,

long story short, it's better this way.

I'm not responsible for anyone's happiness but my own.

I know this, and yet I feel so guilty,

because I was the one who called it off and said no.

He's probably not overthinking about it like I am,

but that's what I get for thinking every guy could be

The One.

I feel haunted.

It's like he's always there in my head.

He's always there in my dreams,

I see him.

Waking up alone

I try to say it's okay,

but I can't help feeling this way after Friday