05.02.21
I want to take it all back,
making the right decision.
I know it's bad, but I can't help it.
Every Friday feels like some form of torture.
I was finally moving on,
now I'm back to square one.
There wasn't even time for my heart to break,
but it's still hurting.
Now I've regressed,
fallen back into depression
relapsing harder than ever before.
It's so stupid I know,
but it's so much harder than I thought.
It wasn't meant to be.
I keep saying it.
It was Lorelai and Max
I mean that quite literally.
He seemed so perfect,
but we were bound to be broken.
I made the right decision.
I knew deep down it wasn't right.
I would've sacrificed too much of myself
and I couldn't do that again.
Everytime I see him, I think it could've been fine
maybe I shouldn't have turned him down that fast,
but we wouldn't have lasted.
I just can't stand this feeling of lonely.
I'm independent, I could get by on my own,
but I rely on other people
I long for that unbreakable bond.
He was just as invested as I was
and that's why I feel so guilty.
I hate disappointing people,
more than I hate them disappointing me.
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4. Memories and Feelings That Still Haunt Me
PoetryI've cried too hard for too long as I debated death. Over and over, all I wanted was a quick overdose, a quick way to escape the pain. Until the guilt set it and made me realise, suicide feels too selfish. Instead I turned my sadness into art and my...
