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4. Memories and Feelings That Still Haunt Me

Poetry

I've cried too hard for too long as I debated death. Over and over, all I wanted was a quick overdose, a quick way to escape the pain. Until the guilt set it and made me realise, suicide feels too selfish. Instead I turned my sadness into art and my...

#abuse #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #eatingdiscorder #originalwork #poetry #relapsing #triggerwarning

Pain

6 0 0

by Sweet_Cinnamon17

by Sweet_Cinnamon17

16.09.20

I'm in pain, and I can't do anything about it

I can't complain, it's my choice to grit my teeth and bare it.

I miss the simple days of taking painkillers without worry

not a second thought, I just took them.

Now I'm scared that I could relapse,

overdosing to the point of death.

I've been doing so well lately, I haven't hurt myself in a while,

but the thoughts and feelings are still there.

I need to do something to feel in control.

I don't know how many more breakdowns I can have,

before I break and do something I'll regret.

Hiding behind fake laughs and smiles.

I feel stupid for even bringing this up,

but I just needed to talk.

You don't have to say anything,

it helps to know that you're listening.

It's so hard to move on,

so I'll just stay here, existing.