05.10.20
I feel like a yo-yo being pulled up and down
I desperately want to feel happy,
but God forbid I actually am.
The little smiles I have where I genuinely am happy
never last when certain people are around.
I'm one thread away from a breakdown
it feels so close to snapping, but there's one thing making me okay.
It's stupid to get my hopes up this early,
but I just need to not be sad.
Never mind if things don't work out my way.
The whole idea of it makes me so happy
it feels like hope and safety
Away from all the mess.
You don't understand how much I need this idea right now
without it I think I'd lose control.
However, I hate to think what might happen
if he says no
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4. Memories and Feelings That Still Haunt Me
PoetryI've cried too hard for too long as I debated death. Over and over, all I wanted was a quick overdose, a quick way to escape the pain. Until the guilt set it and made me realise, suicide feels too selfish. Instead I turned my sadness into art and my...
