I'll be here for you, through everything

Chapter 19

Nishinoya found a spot outside to sit during lunch.

There were constant notifications on his phone but he had gotten good at ignoring them. Noya grew tired of his phone and dropped it in his bag before rummaging around, pulling out his blade.

He observed the way the sun bounced off the shiny metal and ran his finger over the edge.

“Was the team judging me earlier”? Nishinoya thought. “I wouldn’t be surprised, I look like a mess”.

“A big mess that you’re incapable of taking care of”.

“You’re a waste of space”.

Nishinoya looked down at his hands. He had been pressing his finger into the blade hard that it was bleeding from the deep cut.

He tossed the object in the bag and noticed the shake. And it wasn’t just his hands.

His whole body was trembling, his mind over ridden with nasty thoughts.

He quickly stood and walked to class, ignoring the way his body shook and the pain of his bag hitting his back with every step. 
~(T-T)~

Tanaka couldn’t help but notice his friend's behaviour.

Obviously it was weird already but seemed to have gotten weirder after lunch.

The small boy was shaking. His hands, legs and even his upper body.

Not to overlook the fact but it looked like Noya was going to run away.

“What was that thing Chikara said”? Tanaka thought. “I get like this sometimes, I start to shake and panic. It’s called an anxiety or panic attack”.

Tanaka hated those. Everytime Ennoshita had one, he hated that it made his boyfriend feel like he wasn’t enough.

The spiker went back to looking at Noya, only to catch eye contact with him.

He saw the way Nishinoya’s eyes had tears in the corners and just the look of panic dwelling there.

He opened his mouth to speak.

“Nishinoya, may I speak to you in the hallway”? The teacher asked. Noya tensed up and reluctantly followed them out the door.

Once the teacher and student were out there, Nishinoya’s anxiety level went up. He was scared of what his teacher might say or do.

It was against the rules to hit a student but Noya couldn’t help but watch the teacher's hands.

“Is something going on between you and Tanaka? You two seem awfully quiet” they said.

“Even if you’ve lost your voice, I would’ve at least expected notes to be passed. Is there anything you need me to clear up”?

Noya shook his head, his eyes still on their hands. “Alright, if you need anything, don’t be afraid to ask”. Then the teacher moved to pat Noya’s shoulder.

Nishinoya took a step away. Then again. “Please don’t hurt me. Please don’t hurt me”.

The teacher took a step towards him, confused. That’s when Noya’s flight or fight response kicked in, sending him running down the hallway in tears.

“Tanaka, please follow Nishinoya and make sure he’s ok”.

Tanaka wasted no time jumping out of his seat and hurrying the way the libero had gone.

Nishinoya burst into the bathroom, not caring if anyone was in there and collapsed in the last stall.

He cried into his hands, letting out sobs that he couldn’t keep quiet. All he could think about was the desperation in his thoughts.

“I’m going to get hit, or punished".

"They’re going to call my mom and she’s going to kill me"

"I don’t want to die"

"Someone help me. Help me get away”. He gasped for air.

“Hinata, I need you”.

Tanaka checked the bathroom and heard stuttered breathing under sobs. “Noya, is that you”? The noises stopped, only the occasional sniff was heard.

The stall slowly opened.

“Why do you always accept defeat?

Weakling”!

The two friends stared at each other. Nishinoya’s eyes were red and puffy, his shaking was completely evident now.

“Come on, you’re ok” Tanaka said, moving towards Noya, who held up his hands as if defending himself from something that wouldn't come.

“I’m not going to hit you”. The smaller of the two dropped to his knees, wheezing for air.

“Please, try to calm down”! Tanaka fell beside him, only to catch him when he passed out.

His breathing then steadied itself due to Noya being unconscious.

“Ok, you’re fine” Tanaka fumbled for his phone, typing in a number. 
~(T-T)~

Hinata’s class had free time to do whatever they wanted so him and Kageyama were discussing volleyball.

“How are you in “The pretty setters squad” if you’re not even pretty”? Hinata snickered.

“I am too”!

“That’s what the great king and Iwa-chan tell you”. Kageyama smacked his friend upside the head even if he was trying to hide his blush.

The two of them were interrupted when Hinata’s phone rang, the spikers mood falling.

He picked up, fearing the worst. “Hello”?

“Hey, it's Tanaka”.

“What happened”? Shoyo held his breath waiting. Maybe it wasn’t that bad.

“Nishinoya…”.

Shoyo Hinata, please go down to the nurse's office* The PA boomed.

Kageyama looked at him questionably as Hinata stood up, putting off the stares of his classmates.

“Say that again”. There was a pause on the other end of the call.

“Nishinoya had a panic attack”.

Just five words made the redhead sprint down the empty hall
———
876 words

Sorry for the long wait, lovelies.
I took a small break to just write without pushing myself. But one recent comment made me post this chapter :)

More to come though, don't worry!