TIME: Mark Tuan edition

Chapter 19

A/N sorry I'm sick so the days slipped my mind.

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I wake up to my phone ringing next to my ear. I jerk and pull out my phone from under my pillow and peek through one eye to check the caller ID.

Mark.

"Hello?" I groan.

"Did I wake you?"

"No. I always talk with a raspy low voice," I mutter. I clear my throat. "What is it, Mark?"

"I needed someone to talk too," he whispers. I checked the time. 6:40 AM.

"What time is it there?" I ask sitting up a bit rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"11:40 at night," he answers. I hear him move and a door close after a light switch. I think he's in the restroom because his voice echoes a bit.

"What's going on? Why are you calling so late?" I ask more awake.

"I-I needed to talk to you-"

"Me? Why me?"

"Because you're someone who can understand me best. Chris, I'm struggling. I'm just so tired already," he mumbles in distress.

"What happened? Did something bad happen?" I sit up leaning against the pillows as I pull my knees up to my chest keeping the covers over me.

"I'm trying so hard for the fans. I feel like I'm doing more for everyone else rather than myself. I don't feel like I'm enjoying it anymore." I didn't know what to say.

"Do you really feel like that?" I asked a bit apprehensive.

"It's been a while since I've felt like this. I thought it'd pass but it hasn't. It's been a month since I've felt like this. I felt more alive when I came home and saw all of you guys. I barely have time to just hang out. It's all just so tiring," he sounds drained and I feel for him. But this is his dream. He can't give up.

"Maybe you aren't looking at it in the way you should."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't you have fun seeing the smiling faces you bring? The exhilaration from performing? Living the dream with friends you've grown so close too these past years? You've been blessed with all of these opportunities that you've wanted for a long time. What's making you distressed and unhappy with your lifestyle?" I bring up these points curious as to how he will answer.

"I enjoy making the fans smile. I like performing most of the time. It's great to be on stage with the guys but it feels like something's missing. I haven't felt that spark of completion and excitement towards my life making me wonder what more could I want in my life?" He answers truthfully. I nod in understanding even though he can't see me. "Do you know what I need? Do you notice something that I don't see?"

I think for a bit and the only thing that comes to mind is home.

"Chris?" He calls wondering if I'm still on the line.

"Mmm," I hump let him know I'm still there. I don't know if mentioning home would make a new problem or not so I questioned if I should bring it up or not.

"Do you notice anything?" He asks hopeful.

"Is there anything you miss?" I ask in lieu of asking specifics.

"Any-thing?" He asks emphasizing 'thing'.

"Well not just things but places, people, activities?" I ask hinting different things that could be possible.

"Hmm," he things for a few seconds and I check the time again. 7:09 AM. I stand up and pull on shorts and walk over to Miguel. It's been a few weeks since his hospitalization and everything has been okay so far. "I don't know."