all my prayers are with you, but i am still struggling with the thought that i don't have an opportunity to get to know you and struggle with you until i'm perfectly aware and habitual of all your conscious and unconscious habits and doings and just your life in general. it does hurt, but you know, i'm learning to live without it, without you. i'm actively working on the acceptance of the fact that what i really and completely need is me. i have been doing the same all this while, but sometimes with resentment towards you as well, especially in the times while, before and after texting with you. oh yeah, i was born paranoid if you don't know already. but anyway, i'm trying to accept that maybe this is just about you and your way of caring and not something personal. you know? i still have my doubts, but it's all mine to deal with, right? all shit is mine alone to deal with, i never had anyone by my side truly, truly. all my shit is mine alone to deal with. ahh. it's just funny, i wanna laugh about it.
