[MAJOR SPOILERS FOR TATWD AHEAD.]
dear diary,
i have been reading this book most of today and now, after closing it shut, i'm feeling so full. the cuteness it contains makes it unbearable for me, also mostly because i know what happens at the end. i think this is what's terrible about rereading a book with a not-so-happy ending. you know how it's going to end, and so all the good moments the characters are having earlier in the book make your heart ache because you know they don't know what's ahead of them.
this book has given me so much solace in today, an emotionally charged day, when the night before i'd fallen asleep after crying, and i cried after waking up, and i cried before picking up the book. i relate so deeply with aza and her thoughts and her suffering (without really relating to her) that i totally understand why some people wouldn't totally understand her. that's what makes it difficult; she is difficult, what she suffers through is difficult, and not exactly common. i don't blame people.
i also relate with davis in a way that's hard to explain; i relate someone in my life with him. like i said, hard to explain, but he loves the stars, and he writes, and i also write, and this is where instead of relating someone else with him i relate myself.
i don't know why everything reminds me of him. davis definitely does.
i cannot explain what i'm feeling for this book right now; i'm basically speechless.
but somewhere in the midst of it, i remembered how i once craved for john green's writing, back when i'd just finished reading all his novels, and this craving was constant until i didn't know what else to do but buy the books he's coauthored in. so i did, and while those weren't exactly the same, i made myself content.
now, rereading this book, i crave for his writing again, and because i don't have his other books with me right now (they're back home, in hometown--why do i need to explain, anyway?) i'm just trying to stay content with the one i have until i have the chance to bring them, too (hopefully soon in sha Allah).
i don't know what it is about his writing, but i bet no one can write like him. his style is different, more real, really candid, and i really, really love that about him.
davis, a fictional character, feels so real in his writing, and i know it's real because i'd also write shit down like him, and that's more or less what my style would be, too.
however john green? his style is unmatched. you can't convince me otherwise.
ps: i love--i can't explain how much, or why for that matter--reading diary entries, fictional or real. i love reading them more than i like reading literally anything else, which is also why i love davis so much.
