ah.
marriage.
there are so many reasons to dread commitment for a person like me, let alone marriage. and there is not one reason. there are plenty.
and i just figured, one of those reasons is, ive always been under the safe shelter and the strong roof of my fathers presence in my life, and ive never been exposed to the harshness of the outside. for that, im more grateful than i can ever tell. and thats also what scares me.
my father is a very considerate person, he cares for his family a lot. and i dont really think many men are like that. are they?
but lets be honest, every man, including my father, is very possessive about his women - his wife, daughters, and sisters, if any.
and lets again be honest, im not perfect. no one is. im more sinful that i can say out loud, i can assure you. and i really, really dont believe men, even though i have the nicest of them for a father. i have seen enough pakistani serials, to be exact.
but anyway, i do not believe in a mans trust in his woman. men are so short when it comes to trust. theyre very shortsighted when it comes to that. at least most of them are.
and what if hes not as nice as my father? what if hes not as considerate? as caring?
and what if he doesnt love me? really love me? like, really care about me?
to be honest, i wanted to say this to my father earlier: “do you think there are other men like you in this world? do you think any man can ever love me as much as you?”
i am scared. why cant life just stay the same?
dear diary... why?
