dear, dear diary...
i'm... i've no words. i've no idea what to say. where's that little girl? who's this? i'm not me. (yeah i just broke down into audible sobs and cannot handle this any longer.) i shared a little with an old friend and she said... she said some wise things to say the least, and i tried to ignore it because i haven't been very wise in a long time but when i allowed myself to think about it, i realized i wished i could just hug her (or someone, anyone) and cry and i realized how unlucky in that department i am. it was my instinct to want to hug someone, and it always comes first, but i've no one i can hug. never in my life have i had that. i... i just feel so sorry for myself. so, so sorry. please.
and that is not all (there's a LOT but i'll probably write all of it another time) and i've no strength left in me to type more so.
bye.
