The Emo Trinity/Quartet Book

On Trial

After the events of "Desolation Row"'s music video, the members of My Chemical Romance are facing fines and imprisonment for "starting a riot"--

"Tyler! Stop reading the rap sheet!" Billie Joe shouted.  The lawyer flinched back from the judge's words.  "Sorry, sir."

Billie Joe banged his gavel against the table.  "Order in the court! We're facing a serious offense here!" he pointed his gavel at Gerard, Mikey, Frank, and Ray demandingly. 

"'Serious'?" Gerard scoffed, flipping his black hair back dramatically despite his hands being cuffed behind his back.  "We were just having a little fun!"

"Yes, but your 'fun' quickly turned rowdy," Billie Joe replied, banging his gavel on the table again, but softer this time.  "Now, would the defendant's lawyer like to speak?"

"I would!" Tyler replied.  "Mr. Armstrong, you're the judge, so set them free! I know their souls are freezing -- hell's hot for good reason! -- but the leader of these bad guys, oh, he can sing songs that are so soft and soaked in pain, it's just.... aaah..." Tyler broke off, dreaming about Gerard's heavenly vocals.

"And what does THAT have to do with their acquittal?" Billie Joe asked.

"N-nothing, Your Honor," Tyler trailed off.

"Some lawyer you are," Frank muttered, casting Tyler a disapproving look.

"Ahem," Billie Joe turned to face MCR.  "Do YOU have anything to say in your defense?"

"I do, Your Honor!" Ray spoke up.  "And that is... I'm innocent!" When Billie Joe arched an eyebrow, Ray continued.  "I always try and stop these idiots from doing something stupid, but do they listen? NO!"

"Mmm," Billie Joe nodded.  "Prosecution! Do you have something to contribute?"

"Wait, I'm the prosecution?" Bob Bryar asked.  Then, he shrugged.  "It makes sense." He turned to face his former bandmates.  "You all are filthy as charged!"

"It's guilty as charged," Gerard corrected.

"I was making a Panic! reference, so be quiet," Bob grumbled. 

"Hey! Wasn't Bob involved in our 'gang'?" Frank asked angrily.  "He was our drummer!"

"Keyword, was," Bob noted.  "Isn't that right, Billie Joe?"

"Well... um.. I guess.  I'm too lazy to put any thought into it," Billie shrugged.  "If he's not part of your gang as of now, he isn't included in the crime."

"That-- We-- I--" Gerard stuttered, his eyes narrowing.  "Unfair!"

"Aaand," Bob continued smoothly, "as the prosecution, I suggest that you lock them away for quite some time, Billie.  If not death row."

The singer considered it for a moment, then banged his gavel against the podium once again.  "It's been declared! Since Tyler did a terrible job of being their defendant--"

"Hey!" Tyler protested.  "It's not my fault! I'm not a judge, you are!"

"SINCE TYLER DID A TERRIBLE JOB," Billie spoke loudly over Tyler, "I sentence Gerard, Mikey, Frank, and Ray tooo..."

But before he could utter another word, the courtroom door was flung wide open.  "STOP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!" Pete Wentz shouted. 

"...I AM the law," Billie Joe protested.

"Well... stop in the name of the court!" Pete replied, pointing a finger dramatically.  "I have some evidence to prove MCR innocent!"

A dramatic gasp went up.  From where, no one knows.

"What's your evidence?" Billie Joe asked, whipping out a bag of popcorn and munching on it as he listened to Pete.

"Well...." Pete started.  The bassist zipped over to Mikey and wrapped his arms around the taller man.  "He's my boyfriend, so--"

"Pete, we stopped dating 15 years ago."

"You'll always be my sweet little dude! And as such, I will protect you."

"*sigh*"

"Any OTHER reasons?" Billie Joe asked skeptically. 

"Well... um..." Pete trailed off.

"I'll testify!" Patrick spoke up.  All eyes were on the small fedora man, and he continued bravely.  "If you watch Desolation Row's music video, you'll see that the riot isn't MCR's fault -- it's their crazy fans' fault.  They're the ones causing the chaos.  Gerard, Mikey, Frank, and Ray didn't have anything to do with the riot at all."

Billie Joe blinked in surprise at the realization.  "That's.... actually quite valid.  Very well." He banged his gavel, once again, on the podium.  "Hear, hear! I now pronounce the members of the recently-revived-punk-rock band My Chemical Romance... acquitted." 

And so, Gerard and his bandmates were released from prison, all thanks to Pete Wentz and Patrick Stump -- well, mostly Patrick.

Tyler: HEY! I WAS THEIR LAWYER!

Frank: Yeah, but you sucked at it.

Tyler: >:/

"You know, if I ever have a trial someday, and I'm supposed to be defending a band, and I hear one of the members bad-mouthing me I'm just gonna be like 'Excuse me.  Could you please leave?'".