The Emo Trinity/Quartet Book

The Seven Stages, Backstage

"THANK YOU! You've been an amazing audience!!" Gerard shouted as the crowd erupted into cheers. They'd just concluded their LA Reunion tour, and it had been a success. He, Mikey, Ray, and Frank headed backstage. The others were changing into new clothes, but Gerard had something else in mind besides his fashion.

"Guys? You there?" he called, entering his dressing room. As he did, five familiar faces greeted him -- his own faces, in fact. "Hi, Gerard!" they said. "Hey, everyone," Gerard smiled. These past forms of himself always gave him a feeling of nostalgia for past times, good and bad. "How was it?" Black Parade Gerard asked him. "Epic! Not as good as The Black Parade is Dead! tour, but still great," Gerard said. "How's your carving coming along, Revenge?" Gerard asked the emo version of himself. "It's pretty good," Revenge Gerard replied, examining his work. "Ever since I got out of prison, I've been using my knife-wielding skills for good things!" Modern Gerard nodded, pleased. "Hesitant, are you and Lola still dating?" "Yep!" Gerard's reddish-orange haired self gave his furry alien a hug. "And Lemon? You still work at that news station?" modern Gerard asked his yellow haired self. "Yep! Although, they keep throwing pancakes at me. It's giving me quite the panc-ache," Lemon Gerard joked, then mimed a rim shot. Modern Gerard rolled his eyes affectionately. As he looked around the room, he realized someone was missing. "Guys," he asked. "Where is Party Poison?"

Suddenly, Gerard's red-haired alias opened a door in the back of the room, and joined them. Following him was Frank's Killjoy counterpart, Fun Ghoul. "Hi everybody," Poison greeted. "We weren't kissing or anything, don't worry," Ghoul added. "We never asked you that," Black Parade Gerard said skeptically. Poison and Ghoul exchanged glances, then: "Byeee." Both of them disappeared into the back room again. Revenge, Hesitant Alien, Lemon, and BP Gerard gave modern Gerard a significant look. "You were so very gay," Revenge said. "I was not! I'm 110% heterosexual!" modern Gerard cried. "Right now," Black Parade smirked. "I... augh," modern Gerard groaned.

"Guys, where's Lola? She was just here," Hesitant Alien Gerard asked the group, looking around in confusion. "No," Revenge Gerard said immediately. They all turned to stare at him, and the black-and-red clad Gerard's pale face paled even more. "What do you mean, 'no? I never asked you that," Hesitant said suspiciously. "Weeell... you see, she--" "They," Hesitant Gerard corrected. "Excuse me, THEY may have had a bad-run in with my sharp friend over there," Revenge Gerard explained, motioning to a long dagger in a sheath, leaning against the wall. "WHAT!?!" Hesitant Gerard shrieked. "LOLAAAAA!!" he sobbed, grabbing modern Gerard's jacket and blowing his nose into it. "Eww," Gerard narrowed his eyes and yanked his jacket away. "This cost $1000!"

"G... guys?" Black Parade Gerard asked timidly. "What?" Hesitant and modern Gerard replied. "Have you forgotten... the Seven Stages?" "Ohhh, right! How could I forget? The old Butterfly Effect," modern Gerard gasped. "We need to get out of the same room -- better yet, the same timeline -- before we go into homicidal rage!" "Too late! I'm feeling murderous!" Revenge Gerard cried. "You're always murderous," Hesitant Alien Gerard said. "No I'm not," Revenge replied. "Stage 1: Denial," Lemon mused. This simple observation made Revenge snap -- he let out a yell and leapt at Lemon Gerard, who cried out. The yellow haired man was too slow, however, and Revenge pinned him to the ground. "Hey! Stop!" modern Gerard advanced forward and attempted to pull Revenge away. Revenge Gerard swung around and punched his modern self in the face. "Oww!" Gerard stumbled back.

Black Parade Gerard lunged at Revenge Gerard from the front, attempting to tackle him from that angle. Revenge Gerard shoved Black Parade off to the side, but stumbled back slightly from the attack. While he was distracted, Lemon Gerard wriggled out from under Revenge Gerard and scooted away quickly. Meanwhile, modern Gerard had recovered from the punch he'd received and, while Revenge was distracted, modern Gerard tackled his emo self to the ground.

"Hey! Where's Poison?" he asked the others while holding Revenge down the best he could. "Probably still making out with Ghoul," Lemon Gerard said. "Can one of you go get him? I could use an extra hand!" modern Gerard cried as his Revenge self struggled. "On it!" Black Parade Gerard nodded and rushed to the makeup room, where Poison and Ghoul were located.

"Gerard... is it bad that I too am feeling murderous?" Hesitant Alien Gerard asked. Modern Gerard turned to stare at him. "Aww, come on!!" "I'll try to... control it," Hesitant replied, jumping up and down slightly. He broke out in a nervous sweat, quickly wiped it away, then finally snapped. "AAAAH!" Hesitant Alien lunged at his modern self, who cried out and jumped back. Hesitant missed his target and landed on Revenge Gerard, who shoved him away. The two eras started to exchange blows, and modern Gerard sighed in aggravation. What's taking Lemon and Poison so long?!

As if they heard his internal cry for help, Party Poison and Lemon Gerard emerged from the dressing room, Poison holding out his yellow gun. "Guys! Cut it out already!!" Lemon Gerard said. Hesitant and Revenge turned to look at him, pausing their fight. "We need to get back to our separate eras -- Revenge to 2004, Black Parade to 2006, Poison to 2010, Hesitant to 2014, and Lemon... to somewhere around 2014," modern Gerard explained. "How?" Black Parade asked.

"Simple." Modern Gerard whipped out a black leather briefcase and set it on the floor. "If it works in Umbrella Acad, it must work in real life!" "Well, the world was also nearly destroyed TWICE in Umbrella Academy, sooo..." Revenge said, trailing off under his modern self's glare. "I'm willing to try it," Black Parade said. "Me too," Lemon replied. "Me three," Hesitant said, backing away from Revenge. "I'm in," Revenge said. "But don't blame me if the world ends or we end up going back to the 1960s or something." "Did you predict the TV show?" Modern Gerard mused. "It doesn't matter. We just have to wait for--" as he spoke, the briefcase shuddered, and a blue portal popped into existence. "That." "Let's get up and go!" Poison shouted. "Wait! How do we know--" but as soon as modern Gerard spoke, Poison had already jumped into the portal. "Where it'll lead," Gerard finished, sighing. "I suppose it's worth a shot," Revenge shrugged, "Before I feel even MORE murderous." He followed Poison through the portal. "Ready, Lemon?" Hesitant asked. "Yeah," Lemon Gerard replied. Both of them held hands and jumped into the portal together.

"Black Parade me?" Modern Gerard asked. "I'm going. I just wanted to say... I don't love you like I did yesterday." With that, BP jumped through the portal, leaving behind a very confused modern version of himself. "Okaaay...?" As Gerard turned around, satisfied, Frank entered the room. "Hey, Gerard, have you seen Fun Ghoul? I'm trying to round up all my eras, and it's gotten quite chaotic."

Gerard groaned. "Not again..."