The Emo Trinity/Quartet Book

How Mikey Way (Almost) Became President of the United States of America

It was an ordinary Friday night, and Mikey Way was settling down after a good meal.  He plopped down on the couch, grabbed the TV remote, and turned the television on. 

The first channel that came up was the election results.  Of course... everyone in America is dying to see them, Mikey thought.  Including me. 

The reporters talked about what they thought the results were gonna be, and then, finally, they showed the tallies:

Donald Trump: 5%

Joe Biden: 45%

Mikey Way: 50%

Oh, cool, my name's on the list, Mikey thought.  Suddenly, it dawned on him.  WAIT, MY NAME'S ON THE LIST?!?!?! And... it has the most votes!!! Mikey stood up, rubbing his eyes in an attempt to clear them.  This has to be a trick!

The reporters were clearly confused, as well.  "Well... it appears that someone named Mikey Way has gained the most electoral votes," one of the reporters said, disbelief clear in his voice.  "Mikey Way, as in the bassist of the newly-reunited band My Chemical Romance?" another asked.  "My daughter loves that band.  She and other fans will wanna hear THIS news." "Well folks," the first reporter said, "America has chosen Mikey Way as the new President."

Stunned, Mikey turned off the television, right as Kristin entered the room.  "Mikey... what's going on?" she asked him.  "The news people were saying YOU were the new President." "Yeah, I know," Mikey replied.  "I have NO idea what's going on." Suddenly, an idea dawned on him.  "But I think I know who does."

Knock knock knock.

"Yyyyesss?" Gerard's voice asked as he opened the door.  "What.  The.  Heck.  Is.  GOING.  ON!?" Mikey demanded.  "How is it that I'M the new President-elect?!" "Ehhh... I totally have nothing to do with that," Gerard said quickly.  "So long and goodbye." He slammed the door on Mikey, but the blonde stuck his foot in the doorway, preventing it from closing.  "Ow.  Gerard, I KNOW this is your fault.  So come on, 'fess up!"

"Fiiiine...." Gerard groaned.  "I DID put your name in for Presidential candidate.  I asked Ray and Frank to post "Mikey for President 2021" all over Twitter, and I pitched in, too.  I didn't expect it to grow as much as it did, though," he added guiltily.  Mikey groaned.  "WHY must you ALWAYS drag me into something stupid?!" "Hey, My Chemical Romance isn't stupid, and I kinda dragged you into that," Gerard said.  "Also, being President isn't stupid." But Mikey wasn't paying attention.

"Whyyy... four years of being the ruler of the USA," Mikey groaned, pacing back and forth across Gerard's porch.  "Four years of a mantle I don't wanna take." "Maybe eight years, if you get a second term," Gerard chimed in.  "NOT HELPING, GEE!" Mikey snapped. 

"Why don't you embrace the good part of this? You could elect me, Ray, and Frank to your Cabinet," Gerard suggested.  Mikey frowned -- was Gerard REALLY taking advantage of his plight? -- but suddenly, he smiled.  "Yeah... that's a good idea, actually.  I'll elect the whole Quartet to my Cabinet." "But there's 16 Cabinet members and only 13 members of the Quartet.  Who're the other three?" "Hmm," Mikey thought.  "Oh, of course! Billie Joe, Mike, and Tre, from Green Day, and Hayley Williams!" He turned to Gerard, mischeviously.  "And YOU, my 'sweet', 'loving', brother...." Gerard gulped nervously, certainly not thankful for the venom in Mikey's words.  "Will be my vice president, since you dragged me into this," Mikey finished, giving Gerard a glare. 

"I... whaaa?" Gerard gasped, incredulous.  Then, his face lit up.  "OF COURSE!" "Oh.  I didn't expect you to be... well, willing," Mikey blinked in surprise.  "OF COURSE I'M WILLING!!" Gerard yelled.  "THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE!!"  He shook his brother's hand eagerly.  "YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A NEW VICE PRESIDENT!!"