Creating My Dreams•A BYE Fanfic

Chapter 22

Sam's POV:

We've been back on the bus for two days now. Even though I hate it, I'm relieved I don't have to worry about anything else except my family and friends. We have been playing along with the radio all day everyday but we don't get anything but static. Every once in awhile we'll get a radio station tuned in for about ten seconds, then it goes out again. But its useless. We haven't learned anything new.

We've had to stop twice for gas. And we've learned our lesson about leaving the bus so only the driver leaves but comes back while the tank is being filled. We can't take any chances.

As for how everyone's holding up, were running low on food and were getting hungry. But I don't eat a lot anyway. Every time I think of my family and friends back home my stomach churns and I lose my appetite.

None of us have energy these days either. We break out the guitars every once in a while but we rarely ever sing along. I think were all getting to that point where we need off of the bus. Like now.

Toby and I have spent a lot of time together, but were never really alone. I sleep alone in my bunk and I hate it. I'm alone and cold and I can't sleep without him. And when I can't sleep all I think about are the people I love. Every night I cry silently but no one knows about it. I desperately want to go to Toby but I can't. I'm too broke. I'm pretty sure if I go I'm scared I'll end up in tears. Then Riley and Connor will want to know what's up and soon my feelings will be spread across the bus. So I keep everything inside.

When the bus driver announces were about half an hour away from their house, I swear everyone let's out a deep breath. Were all in the front room on the couches. I'm in the corner curled up in a ball trying hard not to fall asleep. Last night I got two hours and fourty three minutes of sleep. And when I was finally out I had nightmares. I don't want to go back to them so I don't dare sleep.

Riley is at the counter with his guitar writing down whatever he comes up with while Connors sitting next to Toby who's next to me. Connor has been doing a lot better. Its like his accident never happened. His scar is almost gone on his stomach and I hoped that once it was, so would everything else. But I guess not. The world around us is not back to normal. I'm starting to think it never will be.

Toby is hanging in there just like the rest of us. I think me and him keep each other from falling apart, even though I haven't had one conversation alone with him since we left the sponsors house. Our looks we give each other and the ones we catch are enough to keep us going. I really want to curl up in his arms and sleep but once again I can't. I can't even give him a hug.

I have this thing going on with me right now. I've always been like this. My whole life. I'm not very good at expressing my emotions, especially in front of people. So that's why I can't just go and hug Toby. It would be too awkward for me in front of Riley and Connor. I could before but that was when Toby and I were clueless for our feelings for each other. Now that we know they're there, we can't.

We can't do anything on this bus. No one can. We all just need off. Even the thirty minutes left will drag on into hours. I put my head down on the couch and I eventually fall into a deep sleep.

***

I wake up suddenly and sit up quickly. Were still moving. I feel like I've been asleep for hours, but it was only a matter of minutes.

Everyone's looking at me worried. I relax my muscles. "Sorry," I whisper. I lean back against the couch but I don't close my eyes.

I dreamt that my family was dead. That's all there is to say. I don't even believe that I didn't wake up crying at all because inside I really want to.