Creating My Dreams•A BYE Fanfic

Chapter 35

Connor's POV:

I barely slept last night. I don't think any of us did. We all woke up barely talking to one another. Its not like were shunning each other, its just that with what happened last night, something changed.

I can see it in everyone. Rhian and Andrew are constantly watching the windows to see if Zack is back. And they don't talk much, and when they do, its to each other about Sam.

Riley has been quiet too. He kind of just mopes around like he's too tired to do anything. But if there's one person trying to "change the subject" with this whole thing, its him. He's been hanging with Grace and her cousin Lucy a lot. Not alone, but just enough for me to know that Riley has a soft spot for her. I knew it when he offered to go with her to her car last night. But I didn't say anything. I thought I'd give him a break with all this.

I can't even imagine how Grace feels though. She's Sam's best friend and she's the only one here who hasn't seen her since before "tour". She keeps asking Rhian when Sam's going to come upstairs, but she says she doesn't know. Just to leave her alone with Toby. 

Toby. He's the one I'm worried about. Its been twice now that he's seen Sam get all beat up and there's nothing he could do about it. Well, three if you count the time before we knew her and Zack got all physical with her. But still I don't really know how he's holding up.

Back at Jen's house after Kenny lost his mind, so did Toby in a way. He kept quiet and until he knew Sam was okay again, he was in his depression state. Just like when Sam get shot and wouldn't wake up. He wouldn't leave her and he became the brother I never knew before.

And now for at least the third time since we've known Sam, I know he's losing his mind once again. I know its impossible for Toby to be there and protect Sam from everything, but I just hope he knows that. But I know he's trying. I can't imagine watching my girl get torn apart so many times and have to deal with the weight on my shoulders. The weight of it being MY fault. But it isn't Toby's fault. I just hope he knows that.

I don't really know if Toby's going downhill from last night. No one does. We haven't seen him since he ran to the basement in search of Sam. He hasn't come up and I can tell its worrying everyone.

I know. Why don't we just go down there? We don't because, well I, wouldn't know what to do. I'm guessing its the same for everyone else. But then there's the fact that we know how Sam is. We all know that she isn't the guy type. So if she can love Toby the way she does, she must really care. And if he matters that much to her, I know that he's the best thing for her.

The only good thing that happened last night was what happened after everyone went to bed. Before I did, I asked Andrew if I could use his phone to try and call home. He let me and I did. It turns out there is connection now. My mom answered on the third ring and we ended up talking for a couple of minutes before it was cut off. But at least its getting better now.

We talked about what's happening where we are but there was no way I was going to tell her what happened with Sam, again. So I just skipped over it. But I told her that it was getting better up here, even if there are still no people out acting normal.

What hurt me most was when she asked if we were coming home anytime soon. I don't want to leave Sam. There's no way Toby is. We can't just leave and pretend like none of this even happened. What happened these past few weeks is scarred into our memories forever. And the people we were with during these times, well, I know for sure I'll never want to forget.

But I do want things to go back to normal. Where I wake up late, go to Starbucks, work on new music, and then later that night work on school assignments. I know, sounds boring, but I do miss it. But I know that from now on, its going to be hard for all of us to be normal without Sam.