The Way You Make Me Feel [ J.J ]

15.

Elle and Emily left shortly after, leaving JJ and I absolutely tired out of our minds. So much had happened today, and all we wanted to do was curl up and go to bed even though it was so early in the afternoon to consider going to sleep. Instead, we cuddled up on the loveseat, her head on my shoulder, while the kids fought over which tv show to watch that night before they went to bed. I played absentmindedly with JJ's hands as we watched the kids, chuckling as Jake and Lilly fought over the remote. This was definitely not how I wanted to end our weekend, but we couldn't control the fact that Elle and Emily found out. I wished it had happened later, but obviously the universe had other plans.

The kids finally chose a show, settling down on the couch with Matt and Kristy. I adjusted a bit so I could place a kiss on the top of JJ's head, feeling her start to get sleepy. She let out a yawn and I smiled, squeezing her hand lightly. She looked up at me, an almost pleading look on her face as if she were begging me to go to bed.

"Hey kiddos, JJ and I are going to go have our private time now, okay? We're getting sleepy."

"But Y/N you haved to watch tv with us! You're leaving tomorrow!" Lilly pleaded, running over to grab onto my shirt. "Please?"

"Lilly," I picked her up and placed her onto my lap. "I promise you I'll be back for Christmas. And I can FaceTime you guys every week. I don't want to leave either, but I have to. I go to school too, just like you do."

"Can you just not go to school anymore?" she pouted. "I miss you."

I smiled at her. "I miss you too, I miss all of you guys so much. More than you can ever imagine."

"Then why don't you just not go back?" Jake asked, serious. "Why don't you just live here?"

"Well, how would I get to my classes if I lived here?" I chuckled. "I need to be up there so I can go to my classes, silly."

"But you're coming home again, right?"

"I'll be coming home again, don't you worry."

"Come on guys, let them go to bed." Matt shot us a small smile, knowing that we really needed to sleep. "You'll see them in the morning."

I gave all of them goodnight kisses before JJ and I went into my bedroom, locking the door so nobody would barge in. I turned to face her, and she looked absolutely torn down. I held open my arms and she walked into them, a few tears falling. So much had happened this weekend, and it was all hitting her at once. I led her to the bed and we sat down, letting her cry it out on my shoulder. When she finished crying I adjusted myself so I was looking her in the eye, using my thumb to run it over her cheek.

"I am so sorry this weekend turned into a shit show, baby. I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

"I know, I know." she leaned into my touch. "I care about you so much, Y/N, and learning everything that happened to you made me so upset but I couldn't cry in front of the kids, you know? I had to be strong for not only them, but for you."

"Hey," I tilted her chin up so she was looking at me. "You never have to mask your emotions around me. You want to act strong but you don't have to. It's okay. Crying is okay, babe."

"You went through so much, Y/N. It hurt so bad hearing about all of that. I just want to-"

"-hey, that's Elle's job." we both chuckled. "Baby, the world sucks. But you... you make it so much better for me. I went from seeing the world in a sepia tone to color when I met you. You've helped me without even knowing you were helping me."

"I care about you so much, more than you'll ever know." she smiled sadly at me. "No matter what happens, I'm here for you, okay?"

"And I'm here for you."