A Penny For Your Tears

Forty Five

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"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know how, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away." I sang softly, stroking Arie's fur as I swung back and forth in the garden swing, enjoying the night's breeze.

"Hi." A deep voice interrupted me and I turned to face it's owner with a slightly shocked expression.

"Hi." I whispered back as my eyes carefully watched Elias as he trod from his garden to my own before carefully placing himself next to me on the swing, maintaining a distance between us. By now my arm had healed quite well and though it was still in cast, I was able to move more or less freely. I hadn't seen him since the day it happened, when he had run out, and I didn't expect that I ever would again, yet he here was.

"I've had time to think about it, think about everything that has happened between us." He started, looking ahead of him, into the night sky and I knew he was just avoiding my gaze. I didn't say anything, allowing him to continue mainly because I was more than intrigued and eager to know what conclusion he had come to regarding us. He had time to think, more than enough, it had been more than four months since the Amsterdam fiasco and though it was insensitive of me to say, it was about damn time.

"I-" Elias hesitated as if the words physically pained him to say. "I forgive you. I forgive you for lying, or keeping secrets, whatever you want to call it." I looked at him in shock, those not being the words I expected to hear from him.

"What?" I stammered, although I had heard what he had said, I just wanted to hear it again to be sure.

"I forgive you." He repeated, this time turning to look me in the eye. "At first I was so angry, so so angry with you, I thought that I could never let go of what you did. But then, I talked to Ashe, and she helped me understand things from your view point. I understand that you were afraid, and though I don't agree with what you did and that there was definitely better ways you could have gone about this, I, I understand. " My mouth opened and closed, his words rendering me speechless. I had been waiting for this moment for months and yet, a part of me wasn't happy and I could tell he wasn't either.

"Thank you, Elias. I'm sorry for lying to you, I should have been honest from the beginning." I answered eventually. He hummed in response, removing his attention from back towards the night sky. With a shaky breath, I stretched out my hand to take his own, he looked at our joined hands for short moment, a smile small on his face, giving me a fleeting sense of hope. Then, that smile left as quickly as it came, a sad expression conquering his face as he abruptly withdrew from my touch.

"Olivia, I forgive you, yes, but I can't do this anymore. At least not now."

"What do you mean?" I asked, scared of what the answer would be.

"I mean," He sighed before continuing. "I need time Olivia, I understand why you lied and the situation you were in but as much as I want to, I can't forget who you lied about and who you were with before me, even if it wasn't your fault. He killed my parents, Olivia, I can't just overlook that. And even now, every time I look at you, I see him. I just need time."

"I understand, " I said, giving him a small nod, as my eyes welled up with tears. I couldn't be selfish, this was more than I even deserved and if he had decided he never wanted to be with me again, I could accept that because he deserved better and, though I loved him and a part of me would forever do so, it was like Ashe said, I couldn't allow my entire life to be dependent on Elias Van Dyke. "I understand, Elias, I do. However long you need, but, just know that I do love you, that never changed." Elias sighed, shaking his head heavily as if I was lying.