To Fall Apart

Chapter 31

Chapter 31

I found Van on the park near the coffee shop. Hinihingal na tumigil ako sa pagtakbo ng nakita ko syang nakaupo sa isang bench at tulalang nakatingin sa kawalan.

His face is illuminated by his dark expression. His eyebrows are almost touching and I can see him gritting his teeth.

I bit my lip and sighed deeply before I went to him.

"Hey." bati ko at naupo sa tabi nya. Hindi lumingon sa akin si Van pero umigting ang panga nya. I smiled painfully before I looked away.

"Anong pag-uusapan natin?" I asked. The wind blew my hair. Marahan akong pumikit at sinalubong ang hanging amihan tanda na malapit na ang pasko.

The wind reminds me of what date is today. And what date is tomorrow.

"Are you okay?"

Napadilat ako ng biglang magsalita si Van. Umawang ang labi ko at dahan dahan ko syang nilingon. His expression didn't change at all. I can feel his anger even from here.

I nodded slowly.

"I'm fine." I said almost a whisper. Nagbukol ang lalamunan ko kaya kaagad akong nag-iwas ng tingin.

I heard Van sighed deeply. Yumuko ako at pinaglaruan na lamang ang mga paa ko.

"I just want to say that..." then he trailed off.

Natigil ako sa ginagawa ko sa aking paa. I looked at him on my peripheral view and I saw him pinching the bridge of his nose while closing his eyes tightly. Kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko.

"Just tell it." I said and smile.

Van's face softened and I manage to look at his eyes.

"Andy..."

"I've been through worst. I've felt the shitiest shit among shits. So don't worry. I can manage." I said smiling.

Kumirot ang puso ko. The truth is I am afraid. I am afraid of what is he going to say. I haven't moved on yet from the lost of my sibling. My father is fucked up. And now, my relationship with him is so messed up. I don't know if I can still handle more.

"We are leaving." he said.

Natigilan ako.

I blinked once. Then I blinked twice. My neck hurts because of the lump in my throat. Huminga ako ng malalim bago tumango tango.

"Saan kayo pupunta?"

"Sa New York. My uncle discovered what happened and he wants us there."

I nodded stupidly. Suminghap ako bago nag-iwas ng tingin.

"Ah." yun lang ang tanging nasabi ko.

He's leaving. Okay.

That hurts. Because he can't leave now. I don't want him to leave.

"We're leaving tomorrow." he added. Mabilis akong napalingon sa kanya.

Kumunot ang noo ko at halos hindi ako makapaniwalang tumingin sa kanya. Napahawak ako sa strap ng shoulder bag ko.

Tomorrow is our anniversary. I'm sure he's aware of that

"But---" I tried to butt in but he continued.

"We put a restraining order against your father. He came to our house drunk and try to molest Venice. My sister is traumatized. She hasn't moved on yet form her lost baby and your father ruined him again." he said with so much anger and pain dripping in his voice.