To Fall Apart

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Masama ang pakiramdam ko pagkagising ko pa lang. My head is throbbing and I feel hot. I groaned when I felt dizzy standing up. Bumagsak ako sa kama at binalot ang sarili sa kumot.

Damn. I feel sick again.

Bata pa lang talaga ako, sakitin na ako. And as usual, Papa isn't here. Maybe he's at work or with his girl. Either way, I don't have to think about him right now when I am really not feeling well.

Inabot ko ang cellphone ko at nakita na tanghali na pala. Late na ako sa school. Amara and Arielle texted me. May missed call din ni Gab. Mariin akong pumikit bago nagtipa ng menasahe.

This time, from someone who I expected to take care of me like what he used to do.

Ako:

I can't go to school. I'm sick. Please tell Amara to excuse me on my classes.

Pumikit ako at tinapon ang cellphone dahil mas lalong sumama ang pakiramdam ko. I groaned and decided to sleep hoping it would ease my sickness.

Damn, I don't even know where I got this fever. Maybe piled up stress? I don't know and whatever now. I will just rest. And hoping to see Van waiting for me when I woke up just like before. Sana naman hindi nya na ako awayin ngayon, at hindi ko din sana sya maaway.

Because frankly speaking I am tired fighting with him.

I woke up starving. Sinubukan kong maupo para tingnan kung may reply ba doon si Van o kung may text ba ang iba kong mga kaibigan. I saw some messages and one message from Van. I ignored the other unimportant messages and open Van's reply.

Van:

Okay.

Napasinghap ako sa reply nya. Really? Yun lang ang irereply nya? Dati nung hindi ako nagtext halos pagalitan na nya ako dahil hindi ako nagsabi sa kanya. Tapos ngayon naman na sinabihan ko sya yun lang ang irereply nya? Okay?

Tss. Okay fine then!

I groaned and throw my phone away. It's useless. Sana si Gab na lang ang tinext ko. Lately, he's being so caring to me than my own best friend.

Tumayo ako at halos mahilo ako sa biglaang paggalaw. I mutter a curse inside my head. Gutom na gutom na ako. It's lunch time and I haven't eaten anything yet since this morning. Naglakad ako papuntang banyo.

I will make a quick hot bath. Baka mawala yung nararamdaman kong bigat at sama ng lasa kapag iniligo ko. I made it really quick because I'm feeling dizzy. I am shivering when I went out.

I cannot help but to sigh in dissappointment when I saw my empty room. I scoffed at myself. Bakit ba kasi ako umaasa na dadating sya? He replied okay. It means he's already doing ne a favor. Hindi na yun dadating dito.

Akala ko pa naman maawa sya sa akin at makikipagbati na sya kapag nakita nya na may sakit na ako. Not that nagpapaawa ako. But still, I expected him to show up here.

Ganon na ba talaga kalala ang away namin? Away na hindi ko alam kung saan talaga nagsimula at kung ano talaga ang dahilan.

I sighed deeply. I guess, I just expected too much.

Napahawak ako sa may pinto ko nang subukan kong lumabas. Pinilig ko ang ulo ko at pumikit ng makaramdam ng hilo. Damn. Imbes yata na umayos lalo pang sumama ang pakiramdam ko. Ni hindi ko pa natatanggal ang towel sa ulo ko.