To Fall Apart

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Andy, you okay?"

I blinked twice before I looked at Amara. I saw Arielle also watching us. I sighed deeply before forcing a smile.

"Yup." I said as I looked at our teacher and try to listen to whatever she's saying.

I grab my pen and decided to take down notes though I don't really know what our teacher is saying there. I can see on my peripheral view Amara and Arielle looking at each other like they're seeing me as a whole question mark.

I sighed and just shrugged my head.

It's been days and everything after that day became so off. I mean, something is really off and I cannot name what's that something is. It's just that after that day, when he last visited our house to took care of me, he became off, he became so secretive, so cold and so distant. And I cannot ask him why because even having a proper conversation with him feels so hard.

So going back to Amara's question? I don't really think that I am okay.

I just hope that it is not Mafie that making him change into that way. Because like what we talked about last time, we had rules. And it was a number one rule to put your best friend first always, no matter what. And the rule number two? Don't break rule number one.

And if one day, he told me that he is in a relationship with that faceless Mafie, then go. I won't come in their way. I just hope that he won't change anything at all.

But I guess, this is something normal. Because we're both growing. And growing doesn't always mean growing with your best friend. It's always to be different. And all I can do is to be open minded by it and accept the fact that he is growing up so fast. And that's normal.

What isn't normal is why I am feeling so sad about it.

"Andy, are you listening?"

Napatuwid ako sa upo ko ng bigla akong tapikin ni Gab. I blinked a couple of times to gather all my scattered sanity before I try to recognize where I am and what I am doing.

"Huh? Uh.. yes." I said unsure.

Nasa may benches kaming dalawa para pag-usapan ang gagawin naming reporting para sa next meeting namin with our teacher. We decided to talk here because it was silent and refreshing. Yun nga lang, sa sobrang silent and refreshing nya, kung saan saan na din lumilipad ang utak ko.

"Okay." ngumisi sya, halatang hindi naniniwala.

Umirap ako bago kinuha ang sarili kong libro. I don't know how many minutes or hours are we here but I don't care at all.

"Hmm." panunuya nya pa. Umismid ako at tinapunan sya ng masamang tingin. He chuckled with what I do.

"Fine. I am not listening. I don't even know how long have we been here or what the hell is our agenda here. But now, I am listening, so speak out now." I breathed and he lets out a bark of laughter.

Ngumiwi ako. Napailing na lang ako bago napangisi.

Gab is my crush. He looks nice, he smells so good, and he's the only guy who complimented me always. Well, there's Van, but we can say that he's just doing that out of obligation.

I should be super giddy now, or super nervous or whatever embarrassing feelings that a girl would feel in front of her crush. But because I am too busy thinking about something... someone rather, I cannot pay attention on being with him.