To Fall Apart

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

"Kinakabahan ako." pag-amin ko kay Van habang nakahilig ako sa dibdib nya.

Nasa loob kaming dalawa ng kwarto ko. Sobrang aga pa para matulog pero paranoid na ata ako. Natatakot akong malate ng gising kaya sabi ko kay Van matutulog ako ng maaga.

Tomorrow is our board exam day. And I really feel jittery with the thought of tomorrow. I wonder how Van did it before. I feel like I'm going to puke anytime because of my nervousness.

"Relax baby, you got this okay?" Van comforted me through his fingers brushing my hair. I pouted.

"What if hindi ako pumasa?" tanong ko, naiiyak na.

"Papasa ka." he assured me. I sighed.

"Sinasabi mo lang yan dahil girlfriend mo ako."

"No. I'm telling you this because I saw how you worked hard for this. You've done great."

Napanguso ako sa sinabi nya at mas lalo kong hinigpitan ang yakap ko sa kanya. I'm feeling anxious every minute now. Parang mas lumalapit yung oras sa kinabukasan, mas lalo akong kinakabahan.

"Yun na nga. Paano kung mabalewala yung pinaghirapan ko? What if it's still not enough?" I asked.

Van stopped brushing my hair. Umayos sya ng higa para makita nya ako ng maayos. Nanunubig na ang mata ko dahil sa pinaghalo-halong emosyon na nararamdaman ko ngayon. Van removed some strands of my hair that is blocking my face.

"Baby.... You are enough." he said. And I felt that he meant those words. My heart hurt.

"I'm afraid."

"Don't be okay? I always got your back. Papasa ka. At kung hindi, edi mag-retake. It's possible."

"Sayang sa panahon at pagod."

"Walang sayang sa pangarap Andy. And I know you can reach your dream. I'll stay by your side while you're working on it."

I put my arms around his neck and pulled him for a hug. Van kissed my neck while I'm trying to calm myself. I really love this guy.

"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" I asked.

Van continued giving me kisses on my neck.

"I love you too."

We both stayed in silence. I was comforted by the warmth that he can give. Him, being near with me this close is what really made me feel at ease. Everytime he's assuring me that he's just here, beside me, supporting me and loving me, it all made me more motivated to be the best version of myself, not only for me, but to deserve a guy like him.