To Fall Apart

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Van is true to his words.

He never dated girls again, he never dated Mafie again. He was being true to that deal that I don't even make. And I hate that he's doing this.

For the past days he was always waiting for me. I appreciate his effort to bring back the old us, the old bond that we share, the things we used to do without any barriers. I appreciate him, all that he do.

But still, I know that there's something wrong. And I don't want us to be like that.

Pretending that there's nothing wrong when it was obviously here, lingering between the two of us.

I sighed when I saw him outside my classroom. Ang alam ko may pasok sya ngayon kaya hindi ko alam kung anong ginagawa nya dito. I stopped in front of him and he smiled. I tried to smiled back but I hardly do it.

"Hey." he said.

"Hi."

I grip the strap of my bag tightly. Arielle was on a meeting, Amara is sick because of her allergy, so it's only me who will deal with him.

"Why are you here?"

His smile fades. I felt guilty for that. I should've not ask that. But then, I already did. I shrugged my head and try to smile at him.

"May klase pa ako." sabi ko, umaasa na makakawala ako sa kanya.

His sad eyes somehow hurts me. It made my heart ache. I know he only wants what we used to do before, but there's a lot of things that changed. Even how much we want to bring back the old us, the changes somehow made a big rift between us.

Our actions changed. Our mindset change. Our feelings changed.

Hindi na kagaya ng dati.

I started to walked pass by him. He watched me as I walked away. Each step is ripping my heart. I've been being unfair to him.

But I remember what Arielle told me before. All her what ifs. And this time, I am the one who's avoiding him in purpose.

Not because I'm inlove with him. But to prevent any of Arielle's what ifs to happen. I want to save our friendship. I don't want to lose Van. Not him.

"Andy."

I stopped mid step. My back is facing him. I did not look back. I don't want to see him. Not when I hear how broken his voice sounds right now. Like me, asking him why he's here, and walking away from him is the hardest thing he saw.

"I...I still have class." I said closing my eyes tightly. I heard him sighed.

"It's my birthday today." he said. Mabilis akong napamulat sa sinabi nya. My lips parted and I immediately looked at him, and I regretted it.

His grinning at me but I saw longingness in his eyes. His eyes are so expressive that I don't want to look at it because I don't want to see how hurt he is that I forgot.

But I did not forgot. Ofcourse I knew it was his birthday.

Remember one sunrise above the hill? When he brought me there to celebrate his birthday? He said that it would be the lase time he's allowing me to forget his birthday. That I should be marking this day as his. And I did.

Every fucking year. But now is different.

I blinked then parted my lips.

"Happy birthday then." I said in monotone. I didn't get any chance to see his reaction on that because I turned my back.