To Fall Apart

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

I never really like the sound of goodbye. I never want to hear it or feel it or even think about it. When my mom died, it traumatized me to be left alone.

But now, I don't know what to want either.

To be left saying a proper goodbye, or to be left without even a farewell.

I sighed deeply as I closed the book I am reading. It's sembreak and I am doing a part time job in a coffee shop so I have things that will occupy my mind. During breaks, I usually snatched a book and read it in a corner. I don't mind eating at all. Because eating would lead to a silence. And silence would lead me to think again. And thinking would lead me to hurting. And I'm tired of hurting. It's all draining.

It's been a month since my debut and since then, I haven't see him again. And each passing day I keep on battling with myself if him avoiding me is good for the both of us or it just making things worst.

It felt worst for me though.

And the reason why I hate having time to think is because of the thoughts that I don't want to entertain. What if's and what could have beens.

And I hate myself to just realized the things that I want to hold when I already lost it.

When I already lost him.

"Excuse me miss."

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa tumawag sakin. He's grinning at me and I cannot help but to roll my eyes.

"Why are you here? Again?" I asked as I stood up. He played with his lip as his eyes travelled down to my body. I groaned and pushed him away.

"What?" natatawang aniya. Umirap ako.

"Go away."

"I'm a customer. You should treat me right missy." he teased. I scowled at him as I went through the shelves to bring back the book I read.

He followed me and I folded my arms into my chest when I face him. He smiled wider.

"What do you want?" I arched my brow. He leaned on the shelf behind him and grinned at me.

"My usual order.

"I'm on a break. And will you please stop staring." I said and he laughed at me. I saw him took out his phone and point it at me.

"Can I take a photo of you miss barista?"

"Ugh, Gab!" I groaned frustratedly at him. Palagi nya talaga akong pinagtatawanan sa uniform ko. He says it's cute but I'm starting to doubt it.

Naglakad ako papalayo sa kanya ng makarinig ako ng pagclick ng camera. I glared at him but he only laughed at me. I gritted my teeth and try to get his phone but he's too tall for me.

"What will you do with those?" inis na tanong ko. Humalakhak sya at nagkibit balikat.

"Pang-black mail ko sa future." he grinned and I groaned. I sat on the chair while he's still stealing photos of mine. Suminghap ako at tinakpan ang mukha ko ng dalawang kamay ko habang naririnig ko ang pagtawa nya.

"Oh God! I hate you!" I said while I'm still covering my face.

The chimes ring as a customer enter and I am too embarrassed to greet whoever it was. Not until Gab laughter faded and I felt something in the air. Dahan dahan kong binuka ang daliri ko at sinilip kung sino ang pumasok, takot na baka yung owner yun at maabutan nya akong nakikipagkulitan sa customer.