To Fall Apart

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I woke up feeling hell. Muscle cramps isn't really a good way to start your morning. First day of red days ko ngayon at hindi na ako makabangon sa tindi ng sakit ng puson ko.

Each passing month, I'm getting weirder and weirder. Dati naman normal lang ako, pero may mga buwan na nagiging abnormal. Like, sometimes I'm having cravings. Weird cravings. Then minsan sobrang init ng ulo ko though hindi naman ako ganun kaarte dati. And now this, dysmenorrhea is no joke.

I cannot even move to my bed. Yung hot compress ko, wala ng init. And what's worse, I feel that I already had a stain but I don't have the strength to change. Kanina nagpaalam si Papa na aalis na sya.

I feel greasy. It's gross but what can I do? I cannot even get my phone to text my friends that I am not going to school now. Hindi ko kasi talaga kakayanin.

In the end, I chose to close my eyes and let myself suffer alone. I just hope that I fell asleep and woke up without felling this pain because it really feels like hell.

Nakunot ang noo, at mariing nakapikit ang mga mata ko ng may maramdaman akong humaplos sa pisngi ko. I immediately open my eyes when I felt someone touching me. Kumunot lalo ang aking noo ng makita ko si Van sa harap ko.

"Van?"

"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly.

Pinilig ko ang ulo ko. I can feel my own sweat trailing down from my forehead down to my neck. I took a glance on my clock. It's already 11 am.

"Why are you here?" I asked trying to sit but I only wince when I felt the tightening pain in my belly.

He bit his lower lip and help to me to sit down. I scooped my hair on the other side to fix my messy hair.

"I came here awhile ago. I saw your father and he told that you're still asleep. I waited for you in school but you didn't show up. So I came here. Even your friends doesn't know why you're absent." he explained. Tumango tango naman ako.

"I'm sorry. I cannot even stand up. Dysmenorhea." I said.

"How are you feeling?"

"Hell." I said rolling my eyes at him.

He nodded and scan my whoe body. I immediately cover my legs with my blanket. I don't want him to see my stain, it's gross. And it's embarrassing.

"Want me to help you?" he said pointing at my legs.

My face heated. He already saw it. I bit my lower lip.

"Hindi ka na papasok?"

"Walang magbabantay sayo." he shrugged.

"Wala akong sakit."

"Still. I doubt if you have eaten anything yet?"

Hindi ako sumagot. True enough, I'm really hungry now. And I want to change really bad. My stain irritates me more.

I sighed and nodded at him.

"Help me go to the bathroom. I want to take a bath."

"You sure? Hindi ba masakit?"

"Masakit. Pero ang lagkit." I reasoned out.

I try to stand up but I only winced. Damn, I really hate this part of being a woman. Parang binibiyak ang puson ko. I stopped to catch some air. I think, a hot shower would ease my pain.