𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓲 𝓵𝓲𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾?| 𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓬 𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽𝔀𝓸𝓸𝓭

Chapter Nine

(dude we're at sixty reads!!! i love y'all sm <3 sotc is snap out of it, by the arctic monkeys)

Ness didn't get anxious often.

But when she did, she got it painfully hard.

She'd been in shock for about an hour afterwards, in a strange sort of daze that arose from the fear of not knowing who she was. Nobody noticed.

But the shock was okay.

It kept her calm.

Quiet.

Sane.

Once the shock lifted, that's when they would have trouble.

Ness hated losing control.

But she was dangerous close.

When they got back to the Institute, Alec glanced at her, a scared look on his face.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, running his hand through his hair like he always did when he was nervous. "I know that must have been a shock for you". His eyes were warm with worry and understanding, and he was chewing his lip. She looked at him blankly.

"It's fine" she said, shaking her head as if he'd said something strange. "It's um... not that big a deal, Alec."

Oh god, I'm gaslighting him.  

He pressed his lips together into a tight line and shrugged.

"Okay. Whatever" he said casually. "I'll be in the office if you need me". She nodded, trying to snap herself out of the mood she was in. No luck.

She was restless, agitated, and she couldn't stop it. She shook her head, as if to shake the fog that was clouding it out altogether. Unsuccessful.

She walked quickly to Jace's room, feeling unnaturally giddy, her eyes wide and restless, and knocked on the door, tapping her foot impatiently. The door opened and there was Jace, arms folded.

"Yes?" he asked, looking at her for an explanation. She scanned her eyes over the man that she felt nothing for, and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing his feverishly. He grabbed onto her waist, and she shoved him back into the room, fumbling to shut the door behind her. He pulled away and smirked at her, his hands still on her waist.

"You're eager, aren't you?" he teased, and she glared at him.

"Shut up" she snapped, and he shrugged in surrender, kissing her again.

She let him kiss until she forgot.

Alec sat in his office, tapping his pen lightly on his desk and thinking. He'd enjoyed today, enjoyed the sun, enjoyed being out in the city.

He'd enjoyed being with her.

He chewed his lip, lost in his thoughts of her. He loved the way she smiled at him, and pointed out pretty things, and joked around. She was beautiful too- with her blonde curls and long legs, and her electric blue eyes that sent shiver down his spine when she turned them on him. She made him laugh, and smile, and see the world for what it was- not a terrible cold place, but a happy, warm place that was full of love and laughter if you knew where to look. Love. 

 I love her  he realised. I'm in love with her. 

"Shit" he swore aloud. "I'm in love with her!" 

There was a knock on the door, and Alec shook himself.

Snap out of it.

He got up hastily and opened the door and he came face to face with Ness like he'd never seen her before. Tears were running down her face, leaving smudgy trails of eyeliner on her face, and she was pale, paler than he'd ever seen her before, her red, bloodshot eyes standing out from her ashen face like blood on virgin snow.

"Alec" she choked out, her voice high and shaky, and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. She sobbed into his shoulder, her whole body shaking with the power of them, and he rubbed her back gently.

"It's okay, Blondie" he whispered. "You'll be okay."

"I don't even know why I'm crying" she laughed through her tears, shaking her head. "I never cry."

He laughed and stroked her blonde hair. "Everyone cries sometimes."

She pulled away from him, and wiped her face, looking embarrassed. "I really look like an idiot now, huh?" she laughed. He shook his head and smiled.

"Maybe a little, considering you're standing in my doorway" he teased, and she pushed him playfully and closed the door behind her. "So, what it is that's upset you?". She rolled eyes and picked up a book and flicked through it.

"Oh nothing, I guess I was just having a bit of a moment" she shrugged casually. He scoffed and pulled the book from her hands.

"Stop avoiding your problems" he scolded, and she rolled her eyes.

"You stop avoiding yours" she argued, making him raise his eyebrows.

"I don't show up to your office mid breakdown" he said mildly, and she swatted him with a new book from the table. "Ow!" 

"Good enough for you, you plonker" she smirked. "And I don't have an office for you to show up at, anyway."

"I guarantee if you did, I wouldn't."

"I guarantee you would."

He smiled and shook his head. She walked over to him and looked up at him for a moment, her tearstained face earnest and soft and smiled.

"I see through you, Alec" she said softly. "And if you ever wanna like...talk, which is so cliché, I know, but genuinely. I care about you and you know..."

"You too, Blondie" he said softly, tilting her chin up to look at him. She looked at him for a minute.

"Kiss me."

"What?! Why?"

"I want to feel something other than fear" she whispered, looking him straight in the eyes, the static electricity fizzling in the three inches between their faces. He tilted his head down and brushed his lips over hers.

"I'm afraid to kiss you" he admitted, his voice low. "What if..."

"What if what?'

"What if I-"

But Ness never did find out what Alec was afraid of, because the door burst open, and there stood a panicked looking Shadowhunter, panting heavily, holding a bloodstained slip of paper. 

"There's been a massacre" he panted. "Werewolves mostly, but a handful of vampires and Seelies too. And ten Shadowhunters. In a local pub, the Harvest Moon" 

Alec walked quickly over to the Shadowhunter and pointed to the slip of paper. "What's that?" he asked, his brow furrowed with confusion.

"A note, found at the scene" he explained, handing it to Alec, who's hand was shaking violently.

This is just the beginning, my friends.

The downfall of the Nephilim is nigh, and you cannot do a thing.

However, I wish you all the Best of luck,

L.