𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓲 𝓵𝓲𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾?| 𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓬 𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽𝔀𝓸𝓸𝓭

Chapter Twelve

(i think this chapter is short? i can't really tell, but sorry if it is <3 sotc is teen idle, by marina. happy reading!)

"I think whoever told me Shadowhunters couldn't get drunk was a fat liar" Alec slurred as he fell into the taxi. Ness laughed and got in beside him, slightly steadier than he was.

"Yeah, who even told you that?" she asked jokingly. He shrugged.

"Jace probably" he replied mildly, and she laughed, running her thumb over his flushed cheek.

"You're an idiot for believing anything that that boy says" she scolded lightly, and smile on her face and he smiled back and then frowned.

"But you're sleeping with him, aren't you?" he asked, his face muddling with confusion. "Why are you doing that, when you know I have a thing for you?"

"To make you jealous, idiot" she laughed, planting a kiss on his forehead, her fondness for him obvious. "Are you really that clueless, Alec?"

"Mhmm" he nodded. "Seems that I am. I had no idea."

"That's why I'm the smart one in this fake relationship."

"Probably."

"That and I don't sleep with bitchy brunettes."

"No, you just sleep with bitchy blondes."

"Oi!" she swatted him. "He's your bloody parabatai!"

"Doesn't mean he's not a bitch" Alec laughed, and she laughed too, not because Alec was right, but because he could have said anything at all in that moment and she would have given him the exact reaction that he wanted, because her heart was going a million miles an hour, and she was smiling so hard that her face ached all because of him and his dark hair and his half smile and his gold flecked eyes. All she wanted to do was fling her arms around his neck and never let go, because however miserable he could make her, Alec Lightwood made Ness Birch feel safe and happy and loved, and there's a lot to be said for that. 

She smiled adoringly at him, lost in his world for a golden moment, her eyes bright, her cheeks flushed, and he smiled back because the pretty smile that he once wouldn't have looked twice at could make him do anything at all, break a million rules, throw away all of his cigarettes, hand over his beloved Institute if the girl who smiled like that told him to do it.

The cab ride back to the Institute was quiet, with Alec falling asleep, his head in her lap. She ran her fingers through his dark hair, smiling at his peaceful expression that he never wore when he was awake. The stress that often lined his forehead was gone, his jaw wasn't clenched the tense way that it used to be, and his face was soft and happy. She bit her lip and looked at him.

"I adore you" she whispered. "Why can't you see that I do?"

When they reached the Institute, she shook him gently and his eyes fluttered open, his face instantly creasing with stress and confusion.

"We're home" she explained quietly, and his face relaxed slightly.

"Ah" he replied, rubbing his forehead. "Cool night, yeah?" he continued, sitting up, and she nodded with a half-smile. "Come on then, one more kiss before I break up with you" he joked, and she wished that she could say no, but every fibre of her being was begging her to kiss him, so she did, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him with all her heart and all her hate that she had for the man who couldn't ever make her happy.

As the devil's hour fell over the Institute, Ness was wide awake and anxious.

Anxious about the memories.

Anxious about her secrets.

Anxious about Alec.

So anxious that she felt she might burst into tears at any minute.

Ness shook herself and swung her legs out of bed, a sort of weird trance of anxiety and fear coming over her. She needed to tell someone.

Now.

Ness grabbed her hoodie from the back of the door, grabbing a pair of sneakers and slipped out the door, quiet as a mouse. Alec and Jace were both heavy sleepers, and Isabelle was bound to be tired from all the training that they'd done that day, so she was okay. She was safe.

Ness glanced around, making sure that there were no unwanted eyes on her, and slipped out of the Institute quietly, pulling her mobile phone out of her pocket as she hurried down the steps. She dialled a number and then stood impatiently, waiting for the other end to pick up.

"Magnus? Hey, can you portal to me? We need to talk."

Ness' hands shook and she took the hot coffee from Magnus. Her lip was quivering, and she was on the verge of tears. She took a sip of the coffee, and then inhaled deeply, preparing herself for what she was about to confess.

"Magnus, I've um..." she trailed off and swallowed, trying to collect herself. "I've done something bad."

"What is it, Sweetpea?" he asked, his eyes warm with understanding. "You can tell me. No judgement zone."

"I've lied to you" she whispered, blinking back tears. "All of you. Izzy, Jace, Alec". Her voice cracked when she said his name, as if the weight of her betrayal was pushing onto her voice.

"But..." Magnus was at a loss. "You're a Seelie. You can't lie"

"That's the point" she replied, with a sad laugh. "I can."

Seelie Court, ten years ago

The blonde child looked up from her novel at the boy standing in front of her. He was a little younger than she was, with brown hair and eyes, and he had a smile on his face.

"Come on, V, you can't read that book forever" he teased. She shrugged stubbornly.

"I so can" she argued. "I don't like the others, you know that, Mason". Mason's smile slipped a little, just for a second, but V was sharp, and noticed it straight away.

"What is it, M?" she asked angrily. "What are they doing?". Mason pulled up his sleeve and showed her a scorch mark on his wrist, about as big as a dime. Her pupils began to dilate and kept going until her entire eye was pitch black.

"I'll kill them all" she declared in a low, metallic voice, demonic for a seven-year-old girl. "They'll pay for what they do to you." 

Present day

"And I did" she finished, wiping the tears off of her face. "There were seven of them, and they were all found scorched to death. Mason was like my little brother, and they'd always pick on him. I don't know how I did it... I don't...I don't remember, but I know I did" she struggled, and Magnus placed his hand over hers, knowing not to speak, just to let her talk.

"They asked me about it, and I just lied" she confessed. "And it happened more times than one. I've killed twenty-three people in total, and I don't even know how I did it. It's like I'm possessed or something. But felt it coming on and I had to tell someone otherwise I thought I'd go insane so...

"What happened to Mason?" Magnus asked gently, and she sniffed.

"He was number twenty-three" she whispered, and Magnus wrapped his arm around her, and she hugged him for a moment before pulling away. Magnus opened his mouth to comfort her, but before he could get a word out, the door swung open and there stood Alec, breathless, with a furious fire blazing in his eyes.

"Ness? What the hell are you doing here?"