𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓲 𝓵𝓲𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾?| 𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓬 𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽𝔀𝓸𝓸𝓭

Chapter Thirty-Nine

(hellooooo! today is the last day of this book. i miscalculated my times a lil (u can see why im failing maths lol) and i thought i'd have this finished by today but i forgot a whole chapter existed lol. anywho, i'll just post two today- one now, and one at the normal 11pm GMT. sotc is detention by melanie martinez. happy reading!)

Ness sprang out of the gilded chair as quick as she could, Mason's face turning shocked and then angry as he realised what was happening. He shuffled out of his own chair, making after, but she was already charging towards the Throne room, her indigo eyes harbouring such angry electricity that you would have felt the static if you had touched her. Ness was angry because she was done, with lying and being lied to, done with losing people and especially done with being made to look the fool all the time. It would stop now. 

She would make it stop if she had to.

As the familiar feeling filled her eyes Ness, shut them tightly, trying to block out the black glaze that she knew so well and hated so much. She despised that she couldn't get angry, like a normal person, she couldn't cry, or slam door and indeed even hit her opposer in a moment of true loss of control.

For other people, a tantrum meant a few tears.

For her, a tantrum meant pandemonium, and almost certain death for her counterparts.

It didn't stop her being so angry that she could almost burst into flames.

The guilt of the past and the fear of the future managed to keep the blackness blinding her at bay, and as she walked into the throne room it had almost evaporated altogether, for Ness Birch had made the choice she'd be putting off for so long.  

A Birch, or a Morningstar?

A Morningstar was sexy, powerful, effortlessly cool. They were feared, they were worshipped, and everyone fell at their feet. They were all that was wrong, and bad, and sinful, but they made it look so fun. A Morningstar girl could have anybody fall at her high-heeled feet, she was expensive, she was mean. She acted like she was better than everyone around her, for no other reason than she was.

A Birch was pretty, sweet, quietly cool. They were smiled at, they were confided in and everyone knew that if they had a problem, you could trust a Birch with your life. They were all that was good, and loving, and kind, but they made it look so easy to be that person. A Birch girl radiated a certain golden glow, the kind that only comes from true angel blood, and the goodness and truth radiated from her. She acted like she was no better than anyone, even though her peers couldn't hold a candle.

So, you're wondering then, what was Ness?

She had the charisma of a Morningstar, the bitchy streak, the slightly bent morals, especially when Alec was involved. She knew how to be spiteful, cruel; she could manipulate anyone until they'd forgotten their own name.

She had the love of a Birch, the kindness too; although she could be so cruel, in her heart she was kind, and she just wanted to be loved as she loved you. She radiated that golden glow, not from goodness, but from the strength that comes from hating yourself, and being a freak. 

In truth, she was neither of them, and both of them at the same time.

There was no point in placing all of yourself in a name that didn't fit you, that meant nothing. There's no point in loving a dad that doesn't love you, pleasing an old friend who doesn't please you, answering to a Queen who won't listen to you.

But there is a point in looking out for a warlock who looks out for you, doing favours for a vampire who does them for you. There is a point being a friend to a Shadowhunter who's always been a friend to you, in caring for your sister who cares for you. And there's especially a point in believing in the boy who believed in you.

Ness wasn't a Morningstar, nor a Birch, nor anything else.

She was just Ness, herself, the Ness who loved blue slushies and hate peanut butter, Ness who could stand on her hands and couldn't sleep. Ness who hated cigarettes but loved the boy who smoked them. 

She walked over to the Queen, a little bit of her angry electricity still buzzing in her ears, planning what she was going to say to her, but she never got that far, for when she tapped the Queen on the shoulder, she turned and grinned.

"Thank you, Venus, for your hellfire" she said graciously. "I have your reward for you here."

"I didn't-" Ness began, but the Queen simply smiled.

"Oh, but you did" she corrected her playfully. "You let go of it. I saw it leave your body. You made a big choice, didn't you?"

Ness nodded, dumbstruck.

"Well, we made an agreement" she continued. "And I fully intend to give you your end of the deal." Her small hand beckoned and out walked a tall, pale boy, the dark tattoos of his runes standing out on his skin and Ness forgot how to breath for a moment. He smiled, showing his gleaming fangs and she burst into tears and ran to him, flinging herself into his arms.

"Alec Alec Alec Alec" she sobbed, repeating his name like a prayer. "Alec you idiot, you noble idiot, don't ever do that again!"

"What, die?" he asked, running a now even colder hand through her hair. She punched his arm weakly.

"No! I mean sacrifice yourself!" she scolded. "You literally- I-" 

He pulled away and held her at arm's length, taking in her beautifully tearstained face.

"So, you don't.... you don't mind?" he asked nervously, gesturing to himself.

"What, that you're a vampire?" she scoffed, incredulous. "Why would I mind?"

"I don't know" he shrugged. "I thought you might...be put off by it?"

"Don't be such a donkey!" she reprimanded him scornfully. "I'd still love you if you turned out to be...I don't know, a Virgo?"

"Blondie! Be serious!"

"I love you, okay?" she said, seriously. "Fangs and all."

He nodded, and kissed her, and everything was okay again.