Ordinary Acts of Bravery [A Divergent Fanfic]

Chapter 42 - You were mine

"Maybe we were meant to meet but not to be, because you were mine just yesterday. When the time is right, you will find me again."

I clenched my fingers into a fist and opened them again multiple times, trying to readjust to the feeling of no longer having a cast. My hand felt weak. No matter how much I enjoyed getting the cast off, it still felt strange. It had healed really well. I mumbled a short thanks to the nurse before jumping off the bed. My eyes landed on Roxy sleeping in the bed next to me.

I went by her on the way out, placed a kiss on her temple before leaving. She squirmed underneath my touch, and I smiled at the sweet sound leaving her. I had hoped she was awake when I came to get my cast of. When I saw that she wasn't, I had just decided to leave the room again. There was no need to wake her. She was extremely tired because she had been haunted by nightmares lately.

Her memory had suppressed the events of that night, but they had now returned with a sweet vengeance. Roxy had finally remembered some of it and it had broken her further. Elijah had been to see her as well, I had always remained outside whenever he was there. We hadn't really spoken together since our initiation. He was still mad at me for some strange reason.

I kept opening and closing my hand while moving down the hallway towards the dining hall. My hand felt really weak. I couldn't get used to the sensation. I groaned when entering the dining hall, almost immediately steering towards the leader table. I had noticed Eric sit with his back to me, Valentine on his right and an empty spot on his left.

Still, I decided to sit down on the opposite side, next to Abby who smiled at me. It had been weird around Eric ever since I witnessed the erudite carrying things into dauntless. I had been wanting to yell at him, to scream, even hit him but knew deep down it would get me nowhere. Eric raised an eyebrow when I sat down opposite him, then he reached for my hand. I allowed him to grab mine, trying not to recoil from his touch.

"You've gotten your cast off." He smiled to me. I nodded and retracted my hand. I showed him the hand and wriggled my fingers. I had wanted to say something but Max sat down at that very moment. I twitched, hand returning to the table before he even began speaking. Everything was shifting. And I couldn't stop seeing Max for the liar he was. While frowning, my eyes narrowed at the man before I reached for a piece of bread.

Eric had noticed my strange behavior towards him and Max. But I had luckily avoided telling him the truth. Abby had helped me, explaining how stressed I was with everything and that it was normal the first year as a leader and that Eric should just give me space. But it was not the case, it was a lie. Honestly, I couldn't bear to look at Eric. I pushed him away, shielded my heart from further break if this war tore us from each other anyway. He had chosen his path long ago, and it didn't include me.

Eric was the first to leave the table. He stood and leaned towards me, intending to claim my lips but I moved away. Eric recovered by placing a kiss on my temple. I noticed the twitch of anger and knew he would soon explode at me. But I didn't know what to do, or how to begin the conversation. We needed to talk together but how could I start the conversation?