Ordinary Acts of Bravery [A Divergent Fanfic]

Chapter 11 - The fear simulation

"Everything is on the other side of fear."

          It didn't take me many days to figure out why it was the second stage of training that was the stage not even the dauntless born could prepare for. As much as the first stage of training had been hard, this was even harder. Both physical and mentally, but especially mentally. We would in this stage pf training undergo a simulation much like the one we took during our aptitude test.

The only major difference was, that this test was designed for us to face our greatest fears, the fears deepest within us. The simulator acted like a practice run for the last stage of training where we would face the fear landscape, the final test before we would become full-fledged members of Dauntless. They did this to hone our ability to face the danger head on, keep a clear head, and never let it control us.

This morning, Four had after breakfast guided us into a square room right before he moved on to a door on the end. It allowed him to step into an even smaller room with one chair in the middle. I had only seen glimpses of it whenever Four stepped out and called out a new name. Only one was allowed to go at a time. A shaky breath left me when he stepped out for the seventh time and called yet another name, a name that wasn't mine.

Relief flooded me each time, though something else made my chest tighten, limiting the air that got down. I was a little lightheaded, anxious about what would happen once Four finally called my name. With a shaky breath I shifted uncomfortably in the chair and lowered my head, eyes finding a spot on the floor.

I was shaking lightly when I moved my hands into my hair, grasping large handfuls of it before hunching forwards to rest my elbows against the top of my knees. It was a protective stance. I wouldn't let anyone see the fear smeared across my face. None of the initiates Four had called in had returned. Leaving me to wonder if there were another exit in the room.

When Four opened the door again I jolted upright, raising my head and catching Tadeo's gaze for a second before my eyes shifted to Four. Tadeo is still sitting opposite of me. His green eyes go wide when Four this time calls his name. I watch him hesitate, his fingers wrapping around the seat he's seated on before he pushed himself up.

I was certain he had grown a bit paler when Four called his name. My eyes followed him the entire time, there weren't that many initiates left in the room. Roxy had been among the first to be called. It had left me alone to my own consuming thoughts as I wondered what would happen when Four finally called my name.

The next time Four stepped out, it couldn't have been more than a few minutes tops since he had called Tadeo's name. I caught his gaze this time and he smiled at me. And I knew. "Octavia." My name left his lips rather carefully. I had known it was me from the way he smiled before he even called my name. I looked at the watch around my wrist, it had only been six minutes. Then I straightened up, pushing myself onto my feet that felt like jelly as I wobbly walk toward Four.