Spectrum 2

26

Natalia's POV

I wake up to the bathroom light shining directly in my face. I squint to see why it's on and see it turned off seconds later and Grayson walking back into the room.

"Sorry. Did I wake you?" He whispers, scooting back into the bed.

"The light did. It's okay, though." I yawn in response.

"Well, I'm sorry anyways." He whispers, brushing my hair out of my face.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"Nearly three in the morning." He replies quietly.

"Oh." I nod. "Why were you up?" 

"I had to pee." He laughs lightly. "Go back to bed." 

"Were you asleep?" I ask.

"Off and on." He replies. 

"I want to stay up with you." I yawn once more, pulling the blanket up to cover my shoulder.

"Are you cold?" He asks, tucking the bottom of the comforter under my body.

"Kind of. Just chilly." I reply with a smile. "You keep me warm, though." 

"Good. Someone has to do it." He smiles. His smile quickly fades as he realizes what he just said. 

"Gray?" I ask.

"But I don't want for anyone else to do it. I want to be the one to do it." He adds quickly.

"I don't want anyone else to do it either." I reply. 

The second the words leave my mouth, I begin to feel guilty. I have absolutely no reason to feel guilty, though. Jose flashes through my mind. His smile is one that I believe I'll remember for all of my life. His laugh is one that I will hear in my dreams for as long as I live.

As much as I wish it weren't true, there is a connection there. Jose isn't one to push anything onto me, but he isn't afraid to tell me what he wants either. That's something that I'm not used to. With Grayson, it's like trying to pull a straight answer out of him at times. Other times, I'm left wondering what he's thinking and never fully understand. Jose leaves no room for the imagination. If I want an answer, he'll give me an honest one. Jose is an easy one to fall for.

"I've missed you, Nat." Grayson says, holding my face in his hand.

"I've missed you, too." I assure him, scooting closer.

"I-" He pauses when he hears my phone vibrate.

I reach behind me to grab the phone that thankfully, I had plugged in before falling asleep.

Jose: I miss you, amor. House feels empty without you in it. Have fun tomorrow. Tell Sofia congrats for me.

I read his text over quickly and don't reply. When I turn back over, Grayson looks devastated.

"Gray." I sigh, trying to curl back into him but fail once he sits up.

"It's fine." He nods. "Really, it's okay." 

"It's not like that, Gray. Just listen to me."

"Do you love him?" He asks.

I pause, not sure how to respond to this.

I love Jose. I have always loved Jose. But am I in love with him? No. Am I attracted to him? Extremely so.

"Oh God." He groans, running a hand through his hair. "It's okay. This is okay. This is what I wanted. I mean, Jose is a good guy. A really good guy. He's taking care of you and-"