Spectrum 2

15

Natalia's POV

I haven't seen Grayson in over twelve hours and he's not answering his phone. It's going straight to voicemail every time, so I know he has it turned off. Although I know he's just next door, it still hurts to know that he's so adamant on ignoring me.

Maybe he's right about all of this. Maybe this isn't a good idea. I mean, he has a few valid points. I did go drinking with Sofia quite a bit while pregnant. Although, I didn't really know that I was pregnant at the time. 

He has a point about being on the spectrum as well. I don't know how that plays into things genetically speaking. He could be right. 

Above all else, I know that Grayson is absolutely terrified right now. Hell, I'm scared too.

I just wish we could be scared together. I wish we could get through this together. Instead, he left me in the apartment to figure it out on my own.

I jump when I hear the door unlock and see Grayson walk in. He looks at me briefly and locks the door behind him. I don't move from my spot in the kitchen. He lets out a sigh and walks over to the counter, taking a seat on one of the barstools.

"We should talk." He says after a minute of silence.

"Yeah, we should." I say in agreement. I know I must look like a complete mess right now. He doesn't really look all that much better. 

"First of all, I love you." He says, running a hand over my face.

"I love you, too." I say, feeling nothing but complete relief over hearing him say those words.

"I love you so much, Natalia. You have absolutely no idea." He continues. "But this is just...I can't do this." 

"This?" I whisper.

"I can't have a kid. I can't be a father. I don't want to be a father." He says. "That's what I mean."

"Well...we need to figure something out." I reply.

"Please, Nat." He begs. "Just have the abortion. Please. I know that sounds selfish and absolutely heartless, but I just need you to understand." 

"Understand what?" I scoff. 

"I don't want to have a child and then it turn out just like me. Nat, it was hard growing up. I had to watch as I was a constant disappointment to my father. I had to watch him and my mom fight about stupid shit because of me. I wasn't normal. It was frustrating for them. They looked at my brother and Sofia like they were just...perfect. And I know that when they looked at me, they felt pity. I don't want that. I don't want a kid to ever feel the same way as me." He explains.

"Grayson." I sigh, taking a seat next to him. "It's not going to be like that."

"We don't know that." He adds.

"I know." I nod. "But I know that I could never look at this baby and feel anything other than love." 

"God." He groans, leaning his head against counter. "Please, no."

"What-"

"Nat." He snaps. "I need for you to just...please." 

"Grayson." I sigh in reply.

"It's still early, Nat. It would be so quick. It would be simple." He says.

"It's not early, though." I huff. "Grayson, I'm nearly four months pregnant." 

"You can legally get an abortion in California up until twenty two weeks." He says after a few moments.

I get up and go to the bedroom. The moment I see the ultrasound picture, I grab it and rush back into the kitchen. I slap it down in front of him and wait for a reaction. I wait for anything.