Spectrum 2

34

Natalia's POV

"So that's it? Your just...you're just okay with kissing him after I had just told you two seconds before that I didn't want for you to be with him?" Grayson says, startling me instantly.

"Grayson." I say, jumping slightly.

"You kissed him. In my house. In our house." He says in a harsh tone.

"He kissed me. I did not kiss him." 

"You didn't tell him to stop!" He exclaims.

"Yes I did! It took me a second to register everything, but I told him to stop!" I reply.

 "God, Nat." He sighs, running a hand over his face. 

"Don't do that. You hate doing that." I mutter, going over to him and pulling his hand away from his face. "You don't want to break out." I say, trying to remind him of his own words that he uses when any of us touch our face.

"I can't do this, Nat." He sighs.

"What?"

"I'm trying to work things out with you! I just told you that I wanted to talk about this! About us!" He says, gesturing in-between us.

"You do?" I ask in what is nearly a whisper.

"Yes." He exclaims. "But how are we going to work things out when you're living with him? Kissing him? I mean...this is just too much." 

"I didn't want to live with him. I didn't want I kiss him!" I defend.

"You have admitted to kissing him! Right before you even got here! And then I come to get you and you're kissing him again! After I told you that I didn't want you being with him." 

"You left me." I reply slowly, looking for any way to make this not entirely my fault.

I know it is my fault, though. I kissed Jose. I let Jose kiss me just now. I just didn't think Grayson was going to see it.

"Do you want to be with him? Am I keeping you away from being with someone who could really make you happy?" He asks.

"No!" 

"Then what is it? Are you just...sleeping with him?" He asks as though the words physically hurt him.

"No!" I exclaim. "No, that's not it!" 

"I need for you to explain it then, Natalia! I don't just understand this kind of thing! I don't fucking get it! So please, just explain it!" He yells in frustration.

"Stop yelling at me!" I cry.

He sighs as he sees the tears already falling. He's annoyed, I can tell. I can't even help it at this point. I just cry. 

"Don't cry." He mutters, stepping closer to me.

"I can't help it! You're yelling at me and Jose is mad at me and your Dad hates me! I can't do anything right and I haven't even really done anything wrong!" I exclaim.

"Come to bed, yeah?" He asks, grabbing my elbow gently.

"No." I sniffle, pulling away from him and crawling into the bed in the spare room we're currently in.

"Fine." He huffs, getting into bed next to me. "If you insist we lay down in this bed, then we will. But it's not nearly as comfortable as our bed.

Our bed.

"You don't even want me anymore so why are you calling it our bed? It's your bed." 

"I never said that I didn't want you anymore." He replies.