Spectrum 2

44

Jose's POV

As soon as my head hits my pillow, I feel the weight of the day finally rest. I know that I did the right thing by going to Grayson's house. While I probably shouldn't have done it by attempting to break in, it's kind of the thought that counts.

"Jose?" I hear Natalia's voice call.

"In here." I call back. 

The door opens and she comes walking in sheepishly.

"Hey." I whisper. "Everything okay?"

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" She asks quickly.

"Yeah." I reply, moving over as she crawls into bed with me. "You okay?" 

"I am now." She nods, curling into me.

I put my arm around her and hug her into my side.

"Sorry that I woke you." I mutter into the darkness quietly.

"It's okay." She whispers sleepily in reply.

"Okay." I reply quietly, feeling my eyes get heavy.

After minutes of silence, I finally say what I've been thinking all day.

"I'm really going to miss you, Nat." I admit.

I know I'm only leaving for Tennessee for a few weeks. The reality that she won't be here when I get back is weighing deeply on me. She doesn't know everything that happened today. She doesn't know that I unblocked the number that was previously blocked. I know that once she reaches out to Grayson again, he'll reply. 

Once he does, she'll be gone. I know she will. It's hard to admit, but I know it's the truth. He's the one who always belonged to her. She owns that man, whether she knows it or not. She has the power to own anyone she wants. She's amazing. She always has been and always will be.

She owns me without even knowing it.

"I'm going to miss you more." She whispers in reply.

"Not possible." I sigh, turning to face her.

"Do you wish things were different?" She asks suddenly.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Like...between you and me?" She asks. 

"I don't understand the question." I say slowly.

"I'm pregnant. With Grayson's baby. But I'm here with you right now." She reminds me.

"Okay.." I respond.

"Do you wish things were different?" 

"Like, do I wish that you weren't pregnant?" I ask.

"Yeah." She sighs.

"I wouldn't change anything about you, Nat. Not a single thing. I love everything about you. That includes everything that comes with you." I assure her.

"Sometimes I wish that I never got pregnant." She admits quietly.

"Don't say that." I reply quickly, brushing a piece of her hair behind her shoulder.

"It's true." She sighs.

"No it isn't." I remind her. "You don't mean that. I know you don't." 

"Yeah." She sighs, "I know."

"Don't say it again, okay?" I ask her quietly. "She's a blessing. She's a surprise, yes. But she's going to be worth every single hard moment that you've gone through during this time. I promise you that. She's going to be amazing. You're going to be an amazing mom." I assure her.