Spectrum 2

Chapter 10: Sofia

Sofia's POV

"So what? That's it? You've been hounding me about seeing that?" Shane asks, seemingly unimpressed.

"Hey!" I exclaim. "It's cute!" 

"Yeah, sure." He mutters. 

"Shut up. Don't even lie to me right now. I looked over and saw a tear." I tease.

"You did not." He scoffs.

"Yeah, I did. You totally cried." I add.

"Yeah, yeah." He laughs. "It was probably transfer tears from all of your blubbering."

"It's an emotional movie!" I laugh. "Come on, you loved it."

"It was fine." He finally settles on.

I lean against his arm as the credits finish rolling. Even after months of being away from him, he's still the exact same as he has always been. His arm still rests behind the couch just like it always does. He feels exactly the same when I hug him. Nothing has really changed. Relief floods over me as I realize that even months away from him, he hasn't really changed.

"How's Madison?" I ask, hating to even ask.

He scoffs immediately, going for the remote and changing the movie to Family Guy. The theme song immediately fills the air and I feel more relaxed with something new on the screen.

"What?" I ask, leaning up.

"She's fine." He sighs.

"Then why does it sound like she isn't fine." I laugh.

"I don't know." He mutters. "She's fine, though."

"Okay..." I reply, leaning against his arm once more as we fall into silence.

"But...it's just." He sighs. "I don't know."

"You can tell me." I say, leaning up in the sofa and pulling my knees to my chest.

"I broke up with her." He finally admits.

"What?" I ask, trying not to sound too enthusiastic. "Wait. Why?"

"She's amazing. I mean, she's really a great girl. I should have been lucky to have her. She's gorgeous. She's polite to everyone that she meets. She understands my crazy work schedule and she never seems to get annoyed with me." He explains.

"But?" I nearly whisper.

"It just...it wasn't enough. Something was missing. I just...I need more."

I take a minute to take in his words. 

He needs more. This feels worse than any of the other things he has said about her. She's beautiful and amazing, but it isn't enough. He needs more. I now realize that if I were ever to get Shane's attention, even if only for a minute- it wouldn't be enough.

He needs more than what he has right now, which is damn near perfect.

I could never stand a chance.

"More?" I ask.

"Yeah." He nods. "I know that sounds awful and selfish and just...shallow." He acknowledges.

"I mean..."

"But I need something deeper than all of that. You know? Yeah, all of those are nice things. But I need something deeper than beauty and understanding. I need a connection. I need someone that I don't get bored with or don't have conversations fall flat with. I need someone that I can joke with and just be myself with." He continues.

"I see." I nod.

"And being with Madison was very...basic." He laughs. 

"Yeah?" I ask with a little laugh.

"Yeah." He laughs in response. 

"Well." I begin. "Are you okay? Being broken up, I mean?"

"Yeah." He nods. "I don't know how she's taking it, though. I mean, when she started talking about marriage I just kind of...freaked out." He says with wide eyes.

"Wait, she was talking about marriage?" I ask, this now gaining my full attention.

"She started dropping some hints." He nods. "I figured that's what she was talking about when she practically dragged me into Kay's Jewelry. And then told me the cut she wanted and what size she was." 

"Oh my God." I laugh. 

"That's when I really realized that I just couldn't be with her. She wants something more than I can give her. I don't want that. Especially not right now. I mean, with everything happening with GRIP. I just...no. I don't know if that's something I'll ever want. I mean, maybe. In like...five years."

"When did you break up with her?" I ask.

"Right before I left for Wisconsin." He nods.

"Wait!" I exclaim. "Today?!" 

"No, no." He says, shaking his head quickly. "Yesterday."

"Shane!" I exclaim with a laugh. 

"I know, I know." He scoffs. "But what better time to do it? If she says up to my apartment, I won't even be there to answer the door. She'll give up eventually."

"You're insane." I scoff, leaning back against my shoulder as I watch the televisions screen.

"It's getting late." He says, noticing the time that lights up my phone.

"Yeah." I nod. "I should probably get going." I yawn.

"Or." He says, "You could just crash here this week. I mean, I don't want you to have to drive back and forth anyways. It'll just be easier this way."

"Really?" I ask, excitement filling me instantly.

"Yeah." He smiles. "That way, I'll be super tired of you by the time that I leave and be all set for the next few months."

"Ha, Ha." I scoff, rolling my eyes. "Only if you're sure."

"Positive." He smiles. "You can even take the bed."

"And what? You sleep on this couch?"

"It's a pull out." He shrugs. "It'll be fine."

"I'll feel bad if you sleep on the couch." I mutter. "I'll take the couch."

"Does this mean that you're staying?" He questions.

"Yes." I nod. "Anything that will keep me away from the house."

"Really that bad?" He asks.

"I pictured it being much different in my head." I sigh. "But it's not terrible. My Big absolutely hates me, I think." I laugh.

"I'm sure she doesn't."

"I think I just annoy her."

"What's new?" He asks, earning a punch in the arm from me. "Kidding, kidding!"

"I don't know. She's really cool some days and others she's just....yikes."

"Well, at least you don't have to see her for another week."

"Less than that. I need to go back tomorrow and pack enough clothes for a week. Not to mention a tooth brush and shampoo and-"

"We can just go buy all of that stuff."

"Wow, he makes a couple bucks and thinks we can just buy everything brand new now."

"Ha, ha." He says, rolling his eyes this time. "Fine. We'll go to the house tomorrow and get your stuff and then come back here. Until then, let's just finish watching this show and then go to bed. I'm tired." 

"Fine." I say, trying to fight my smile down but failing miserably.

As I curl into Shane's side, I finally allow myself to feel fully at home with him by my side.

-

Author Note!!!

Can't wait for the drama to unfold.