Spectrum 2

43

Natalia's POV

"We're going on a cruise." Sofia says with excitement.

"Oh wow!" I laugh. "That'll be awesome." I say to the screen.

"I know! Shane knows how much I love the buffets." She smiles. "I miss all of you guys back home, though. This is going to be the first year I haven't celebrated Christmas with the family. And with you, too!" She pouts.

"You'll have fun, though. But a cruise during Christmas?" I question.

"Christmas party. Memories. You know, Shane is pretty sentimental." She laughs.

"He seems to be the type." I laugh. 

"But I won't have the best service on the cruise. We're trying this whole staying away from our phones thing and living in the moment. Disgusting, I know." She groans.

"It's only a week, yeah?" I ask.

"Yes." 

"Well, I'm sure I can survive for a week. You better message me as soon as you get your phone back, though!" I add.

"Oh, of course. Don't worry. I'll be sneaking my phone during our ports. I know Shane is doing the same. That man can't stay away from work. Even though he's trying." 

"Grayson is the same way." I reply, feeling sadness wash over my instantly. "Hey, I'm going to let you go. I think I just heard Jose pull up." I reply.

"Okay! Love you!" She says, waving goodbye before ending our FaceTime call.

I look out the window and see Jose's car pulling up. Whatever he was doing didn't take too long. I jump out of bed and head towards the living room, wanting to greet him when he entered. I was out of line for saying the things that I've said to him. Really, I owe Jose the world and then some. He has had my back this entire time. No one else has, but Jose stayed the entire time. Of course I want him here. Truthfully, I have no idea what I would do without him. Losing him is scary. Scarier than anything else I've been having to face lately. 

I don't ever want to lose him.

"Hey." I exhale in relief, seeing him walk through the door.

He pauses, eyeballing me suspiciously.

"Hey." He says slowly, closing the door behind him.

"You're back." I point out.

"I'm back." He nods, walking past me and towards the kitchen.

"Where did you go?" I ask.

He glances up at me as he fills a cup of water, taking a sip in reply.

I nod at this, knowing that really it's none of my business.

"Sorry." I mutter, pinching my elbow gently. He notices this immediately and sighs.He always says that he never understood why I started pinching my elbow. I don't really know, either. It's just the nervous tick I have developed for myself.

"I had to run some errands before I go to Tennessee." He replies, walking back into the living room and turning the television on.

Clearly, this conversation has come to an end. I nod and shuffle back to my bedroom, closing the door gently. 

I don't really blame Jose for being irritated at me. I would be annoyed, too. For someone who is living here rent free, I sure was being a complete bitch to him. He didn't deserve any of the things that I said to him. I didn't mean them.

But didn't I?

Grayson is the only man that I have wanted in so long. He's the first man to make me feel safe and loved after everything with Ryan. Ryan knew how to manipuate me. He also knew how to absolutely ruin my life. Grayson was the first man to love me without manipulation. He was the first man to put in a real effort to make this work, despite any of the difficult things standing in his way.