Don't know yet

Chapter 25

"What do you want to know?" He looks down at his hands scared to look at her eyes that are probably questioning him from where his mother stands.

"I thought you hated Harry."

"I do, well not anymore I guess but I did, I really did."

"So now you're dating?" She seats down next to him but Louis keeps his gaze on his hands.

"Not really, he asked me to be his boyfriend but I said no."

"But you like him?"

Louis gets more nervous with every question knowing perfectly fine where this conversation is going.

"I do, but I didn't want to put a label on it yet. Can we stop talking about Harry now?"

"Sure." Louis lets out a relieved breath before starting to get up. "Wait, we can stop talking about Harry but I still want to talk about you." Louis flops down onto the chair sighing. "Why didn't you tell me you were gay? You know you can trust me."

"I'm not." He takes a big pause before he starts to speak again. "At least I don't think I am."

Louis' mum frowns at that last comment and Louis proceeds to explain to her how it all started, how he feels about Harry and how he feels over all and much to Louis' surprise it only brought more questions; some that he made in his head as he tried to express everything to his mum and some others instigated by his mum who seemed to have way too many doubts in Louis' opinion.

"Wait, how did you find out?" Louis was in the middle of explaining yet again that he did like girls before he just started liking Harry too when he realized that he never actually asked her how she even knew about this whole thing.

"Harry told his mum yesterday and she called me to ask me why I hadn't told her."

"You talk to his mum?"

"Yeah we've been friends since your first football game in highschool, I didn't tell you because you'd get annoyed at me and tell me I was fraternizing with the enemy but Harry knew about; he's less of a drama queen I guess." She laughs at her own joke while Louis' mind goes crazy with his mum's response.

So Harry knew they were friends? Did he know they talked? Did he know that by outing himself to his mother he also outed him to his? Either way Louis is already fuming because of Harry's actions. He had to endure two hours of interrogating from his mother which only put more pressure on him to figure everything out. He was already stressed because he was making Harry wait for him and now his mother was also waiting for answers that he didn't know if he was ever going to be able to give them to her. It's all too confusing for him.

Louis decides to go up to his room and just hide in there until he can have some answers, any answers. That's a good plan, right?

Apparently it wasn't good enough because the room isn't his own little world where he can hide from the real one, it is still part of the real world and it can't hide him from it. His phone vibrated on the nightstand making him realize this. He gets his phone and reads the message that is on the screen.

Can I come over?

Louis had the urge to just say no and leave at that but he really wants an explanation as to why he couldn't wait to tell his mother and he doesn't want to have a conversation like that over some texts so he decides to let him come over so that he can try and explain himself.

The more Louis waits for Harry to show up the angrier he gets. His veins are now filled with anger and frustration because he can't change anything anymore and he knows that if Harry had just kept his mouth shut this wouldn't have happened, he wouldn't have to figure out what he was in such a rush. When Harry gets there Louis can tell that he's been crying and that he is still sad but his anger makes him ignore that and just drag the curly boy up the stairs and to his room. Louis pushes Harry through the door and closes it behind him before he starts talking.

"What were you thinking?" Louis shouted at Harry who was now standing in the middle of the room with a confused look on his face even though his eyes still were sad.

"What are you talking about?" Harry furrows his brows in confusion still not understanding what the smaller boy means.

"My mum found out that I'm..." He has to take a pause not sure how to phrase it right. "Whatever I am." He decides to leave it at that, not wanting all his questions to surface again and roam his mind freely making anxious.

"What do I have to do with that?" Harry's voice sounds broken and almost a whisper as if his mood had decreased since he came in but Louis didn't have it in him right now to care about it.

"Your mum told her."

"Oh." Harry looks down, realization hitting him at the same time as guilt.

"What am I supposed to tell her now?"

"The truth, that we are..." Harry starts speaking but gets interrupted by who's now yelling at him worry in his expression.

"That are we what Harry? We don't even know what we are yet so how am I supposed to explain it to her? I mean I don't even know what I am, I liked girls before and maybe I still do. It's all too confusing to explain."

"It's not my fault that we know what we are, Louis. You can't shout at me like I' the one to blame with that."

"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I haven't thought about how unfair it is for you that I'm messed up like this? Believe I've been trying hard to figure myself out as fast as possible to be able to give you a proper answer but it's not that simple and my mother finding out about it doesn't make it any easier."

"I just had to tell my mother, I'm sorry if it affected you but honestly I think it was for the best."

"For the best? Do you have any idea of how much pressure you put me in after doing that. I was already in with you waiting for answers and now my mother is also in the picture."

"Well I'll do you a favor and take some pressure off of you." Look at Harry in the eyes worried that what he understood is what Harry was actually implying.

"Harry, that's not what I mean."

"No, but it's what you want." He spits out before walking out of the door.

"Harry wait."

"No, don't worry. You can relax now." Before Louis can say another thing Harry walks out of the house and shuts the door as he does so.