Don't know yet

Chapter 34

Harry's vision is hazy from the tears that are pouring down his face. The doctor's been talking for a while but his voice sounds so distant to Harry that he can barely make up any words anymore. Listening to his mother's condition has always been hard for Harry but it seems like all the practice he's gotten over the years is worth nothing right now.

He walks into his mum's room trying his hardest not to cry but the tears are already threatening to come out. He sits down on the chair right next to her bed and holds her hand tight while looking at her face. Her eyes flutter open as a weak smile makes her lips stretch at the ends. They sit there just looking at each other for a couple of minutes until Anne decides to break the silence.

She asks him about his day and Harry replies with the most casual tone he can manage. She listens with her eyes half closed and a weak smile as Harry tells her about his chemistry exam that is coming up and how Louis' been helping him with it. Harry just keeps talking nonsense trying to distract himself from the fact that they're at a hospital and not home enjoying a cup of tea while discussing how the day went like any other normal family. At some point she drifts off and Harry just sits there staring at her face while holding her hand tight. He wonders what else he would talk to her about if they were in fact a normal family and the thought of Louis keeps popping into his head over and over again.

He debates whether he should tell her about them or not and thinks of all the possible outcomes of him coming out to his mother and by the time Anne wakes up again Harry has decided that he needs to let his mum know who he is, who he truly is, before it's too late.

"Hey, mum?" Anne hums in reply and turns her head to face Harry properly. "I need to tell you something."

"What is it honey?"

Harry takes a deep breath in and even though he's trying to stay calm his breathing is shaky. "I'm dating someone."

"Really?" She replies, her eyebrows raised. "And who is she?"

"Actually... She's a he." He looks up at his mother to see her reaction but changes his mind halfway through and instead looks back down at the floor.

"Oh. Who is he then?" Harry looks up fully to see his mum's expression only to find her smiling at him fondly. He smiles back at her before he starts telling her about Louis although he doesn't say much before his father comes into the room and demands to speak with privately and they go outside the room.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm talking to mum. What 's wrong?" Harry knits his eyebrows, a concerned look on his face taking over his features.

"What 's wrong? You're in there giving your mother yet another disappointment and you ask what's wrong? Doesn't she have enough with her illness?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You've got to be kidding me." He says under his breath while rubbing his eyes with his thumb and index finger. "The last thing your mother needs right now is a faggot for a son."

Harry's words get caught in his throat, his eyes stinging from holding back tears.

"Go in there and take it back right now" His father demands. Harry just stands there his mouth agape and his hands shaking. "Go!" He shouts, making people from the hospital turn around and stare at them.

Harry does as he's told and goes into his mum's room with teary eyes. When his mother sees him she gets concerned and Harry just tells her he was joking before. He knows His mother doesn't believe him but he has to do it anyway he can't have his father freaking out with his mother like this.

When he comes out of the room his father looks just as angry as when he went in and Harry just can't have it right now.

"I already told her it's not true, you don't have to be mad anymore"

"You're going to break up with him if you know what's best for you?"

Harry looks up at him confused and angry. "What?"

"You heard me. Now go do it." He clenches his jaw and looks angrily into Harry's eyes.

"I'm not going to do that, Dad. You can't change the fact that I'm gay."

"God! Keep your voice down!" He says while looking around. "You're not gay, you're sick but I'm going to help. I'm going to fix you, son." Harry breathes deeply trying to stop the tears from spilling and then takes a step forward to walk away. "I won't have your mother sick and coping with you. You can either break up with that faggot and put some effort into being normal, or I won't pay for your mother's treatment anymore."

"What?! If they don't treat her she will die, Dad." Harry exclaims, hoping to reason with his father.

"I'd rather have her dead than suffering because she has a son like you."

Harry can only remember that evening over and over again as he read over the song Louis wrote for him on his birthday. The memories come rushing back to him as he finds himself alone in his room, dropping tears onto the last thing Louis gave to him.