The 1975

Chapter Seventy-Eight || My lovers got humour

Date: November 5th

Location: Aragon Ballroom - Chicago, Illinois

"Abigail" Matty said as he shot up. "Abigail what's wrong?"

"Nothing" I half smiled. "Just watching CNN"

"No Abigail" he said. "You've been in that same position since four in the morning, love have you gotten any sleep?"

"No" I smiled. "But I'm fine"

"Abigail I'm worried" he sighed.

"Matty" I sighed. "I'm fine"

"Whatever" he huffed. "Turn off this crap babe, it's just bullshit"

"No" I sighed.

"I think we've stopped" he said then walked out our compact room.

Last nights scenario kept running through my mind. I couldn't even speak of it without sobbing for hours. Matty was right I hadn't slept, every time I closed my eyes I saw George and his eyes and how he looked last night and I heard what he said and it was too hard to relive that every time I closed my eyes. So yes I hadn't slept, and I hadn't left the room because he was right outside but I figured now that we stopped I could leave. So I slipped on slippers and a coat then walked out.

"We needed gas" Matty said as I opened the tour bus doors to step out.

"I need ginger ale" I said then kinda shoved pass him. He mumbled something but I couldn't make out what he said.

"Abigail" Jamie said. G was at his side.

"Hi" I mumbled then rushed past them. My chest was feeling heavy again and once I walked in the gas station I couldn't breathe.

"Abigail" James said as he rushed over to me. "What's wrong?"

"I-I..Cant" I said. It felt like someone was sitting on my chest.

"Abbi you're having an anxiety attack just look at me" he said as he grabbed my hands. "Breathe"

"Don't tell Matty" I said once I caught myself. "Not one word"

"You know I can't do that" he sighed.

"James, please" I begged.

"Abbi I'm sorry" he said then walked out the store. I didn't bother to turn around and see him send my boyfriend into a panic. These panic attacks were my fault, last night had sent me in a downward spiral and there was no looking up anyways.

Anyways I came into the store for ginger ale and that's what I went for. I was so tired of junk food, if I had one more bags of chips I would vomit so I just reached for a banana that looked somewhat good then an orange. While I was paying for that plus a pack of cigarettes, all this stress had made me take on this nasty habit, Jamie stormed in the store with eyes ready to kill.

"You need to talk to us" he barked. "Because we cannot read your fucking mind Abigail!"

"Don't snap at me" I said through my teeth. "I am being honest, I am stressed and overwhelmed!"

"Let's go" he said as he grabbed my arm. "You're not riding on that bus anymore until you stop having these attacks"

"That'll just make him more paranoid Jamie" I said quietly as we made our way outside. "I don't want him blaming this on himself"

Jamie sighed. "Fine"

"Everything alright?" James asked, I thanked my lucky stars he told Jamie and not Matty. I didn't need Matty thinking he was to blame for what's going on, it's my fault.