The 1975

Chapter Seventy-Two || Where do broken hearts go

*This chapter may or may not break your heart, it broke mine*

Date: November 16th

Location: Paramount Theater - Seattle, Washington

I wasn't planning on coming. I told Denise I was but I couldn't after my very brief talk with Louis. The plan was to leave from the Manchester airport to Pennsylvania but when I got to the airport I started crying really bad and I didn't know why. Then it hit me that he is and always will be the most amazing person in my life and I can't give up on us, I can't just let this die without trying to fight for us. Gemma's words rang clear, running away wouldn't benefit anyone, I loved Matty and at this point I couldn't wait for him to come find me. Yes he fucked up but now I did too and we were way past a damaged relationship. So here I was standing outside there show.

The only person I told that I was coming back was Jamie and that was because I needed a ticket to their show. I hadn't heard The 1975 in so long, yes I go to their shows but I don't really listen I just wander off and wait for them to be over. I really wanted to hear them play again, I wanted to remind myself why I fell in love with him. Not because he's handsome or because he's in a band but because he puts so much soul and love into his songs and not just him the whole band and I needed that. Not many people do what they do and I love them for that but I love Matty because he does it and never complains about long hours or not being able to go home.

So here I was just waiting to get in. Unlike their amazing fans I didn't care about being in the front, if I was in the front he would notice my presence and I did not want that. Not yet at least. After about fifteen minutes of waiting they let us in, I was tiny enough to squeeze my way into the middle of the crowd but more to the right side of the stage. When he came on my heart burst in my chest and I could feel myself start to panic, to make matters much worse the crowd was going insane and I couldn't find it in me to breathe. No matter how bad I got I wouldn't leave, I needed to be here and that meant dealing with my anxiety.

When they started I began to feel a little better, their music is always something that can calm me. He started off with Sex, a fan favorite, moved on to Girls which got me to dance along, then it was Robbers and immediately I was reminded of his kissing that girl on stage. The face came with a name but at this point it didn't matter. When it was over I was relieved to hear Pressure come on, always a song to put anyone in a good mood. Then Money which made everyone smile, So Far which got me to dance as well, You which made me smile really big. Me, he looked so sad.

When the show was over the crowd rushed out to try and meet the boys, since I know their "escape" strategy better than anybody else I walked around the back side of the building. Security tried to stop me but I told them my name and they let me pass, thanks to Jamie of course. The farther I walked the more I saw of them. I was hoping none of them would notice me, I tried to be as quiet as possible but they were gathered in a circle and the first to notice me was George. When he stopped talking everyone turned to see what the blonde beast was looking at, eventually they all shut up and stared at me. It was a terrible moment.

"Hi" I said softly. Matty's eyes went from this soft happy look to this burning anger. You could feel the tension.

"Welcome back" Jamie smiled then walked over and hugged me. "You've been missed Abbi"

"Thank you" I mumbled, I was waiting for him to yell or hug me or something but instead he just stood there.

"Cmon children we have fans to meet" Jamie said trying to rally the guys up. "We can all talk to Abigail later"

I expected Matty to stay and talk to me but he just started to walk off with them. "Matty" I said.

He turned around and he just looked so mad. "Don't fucking say my name, you need to leave because I don't want you here. Not anymore"