The 1975

Chapter Sixty-Three || You're cold and I burn

Date: October 23rd

Location: Les Docks - Lausanne, Switzerland

There have been a few times when Matty actually made my heart hurt. The first was telling me he still loved Gemma, that was like being stabbed. The second was when he told he that he told Gemma there was still hope for them, that felt like getting slapped in the face till your cheeks started to bleed. Finally, yesterday when he called me a terrible girlfriend, that was like the icing to top the cake.

Now to most people it would seem like nothing because he said it out of anger supposedly but to me it hurt because if I'm such a terrible girlfriend why did I sacrifice my college career for him, my friends, my family, my home? I gave all that up to be with him and yet I'm the terrible girlfriend. To be honest the only thing he has truly lost in this relationship is Gemma and I honestly don't know if he's fine with that or not.

Enough of my sad ass love life, were in Switzerland and that means lots of chocolate and lots of beer. This morning when I woke Matty was gone, a few of the guys tried coming in to check on me but I just pretended to be asleep. I really wasn't in the mood to speak to anybody, I just wanted to sit in bed till I felt the urge to actually get up and move.

"Abbi" G called as he knocked on the door.

I didn't answer which I guess made him think he could just walk right in with the maids room key. When he saw that I was awake he smiled then climbed in bed and laid on top of me with his head on my stomach. "Glad to see you're alive" he chuckled.

"What are you guys up to today?" I asked as I played with his hair.

"Well I'm staying here with you while the guys go handle soundcheck" He said.

"No leave" I sighed. "I want to be alone"

"Nobody wants to be alone babe" he said.

"Okay well get off my stomach I haven't eaten yet" I said.

He sighed then dragged himself up besides me and laid his head on my shoulder. "Might wanna shower your hair smells horrid"

"God I hate you" I lightly chuckled then sat up.

"I'll go get us some breakfast" he smiled.

"Thanks" I mumbled.

"Anything for you little one" he sang.

After my shower I defiantly didn't want to stay in pajamas all day since I was planning on leaving this hotel so I changed into black leggings, a grey long sleeved shirt that had buttons going down a quarter of the shirt and for now black socks. I let my hair air dry and I only put on a little makeup so that I didn't look to scary. Not that anybody would care.

"Hey" Matty said as I walked out the bathroom, he was changing. "I didn't expect you to come out"

I didn't say anything I just climbed into bed and started messing around with my phone. I hadn't talked to my family or friends in a while and oddly enough it wasn't bothering me at all. I like not having to explain myself or my actions every time I picked up the phone to tell them that I miss them. When I looked up from my phone Matty was staring at me.

"Um I've got to make a run into the city, want to come?" He asked, I just shook my head.

"Okay" he nodded then sat next to my torso. "Can you at least say something to me?"

"Am I really that terrible?" I asked.

"Abigail" he sighed. "I didn't mean to say that"

"But you did"