Maybe We Were Meant to Be (Tay Jardine and Jenna Mcdougall)

Come Undone

Tay:

I stood there against the wall unable to move. I had completely forgotten about my arms. I had gotten caught up in the moment and was so used to the sight of my messed up arms I didn't think anything of it. Jenna obviously thought differently. She sat on the floor staring and I could see tears filling her eyes, her breathing was unsteady like she wanted to cry, but was holding it back.

My eyes were completely dry, open wide as I stared back at her. I didn't know what to say to her. What could I say? Sorry, I missed you. That'd make it seem like she was to blame and that wasn't it. Nor was my missing her the reason I had done it. It was all because of my messed up mind that was reflected by the messed up arms.

"Are you mad at me?" I whimpered.

She didn't speak at first, but I did manage to get her to look at my face instead of my arms. For a second I saw a weak smile. "Of course not. I can't be mad because of something you did to yourself. This doesn't change how much I love you or care about you. I just wish I knew how to help you and I wish you had told me the truth when we talked." she said in a tender, calm, loving voice.

Her kindness didn't help how bad I felt about what I had done. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to worry you and ruin your trip here. It would have made me feel worse if I had done that."

"Did anything else happen while I was gone?"

"No. I stayed closed in the house almost 24/7. I only left for food."

Jenna got up and handed me my shirt I slipped it on and she wrapped her arms tightly around me. "I'm sorry you had to be alone. You know you aren't going to be able to wear long sleeves like that while you're here. What do you want to do?"

The thought had never crossed my mind. I couldn't go around wearing short sleeves and letting all of Jenna's friends and family see that she was dating a crazy person. "Oh no! I'm so sorry. I'm going to embarrass you in front of everyone you know!"

"Embarrass me? No. Don't worry about that. If you are comfortable letting others see it, then I am too." she said confidently.

I didn't feel as confident about it. "What other solutions are there?"

Jenna thought for a minute. "Do your bracelets cover most of it?"

"No."

"We could look for some light white button downs that would hide it and wouldn't attract the heat of the sun. Would that work?" she asked hopefully.

"Maybe, but I don't have any." I replied in a defeated tone.

"Don't worry we'll go shopping and find some tomorrow. That's the wonder of living close to a big city." she smiled. I felt a little better. She was taking it so well.

"You can't even imagine how much you mean to me. You are always there for me and there is nothing I can do for you in return."

Jenna gripped my shoulder and looked me in the eye. She spoke with a serious tone. "All you have to do is grace me with your presence. I know that you would stand by my side if I were in the position you are. Don't think for a second that you are worth any less than me." she once again grabbed me into a tight hug, then pulled me back and kissed my forehead. "I'm sorry I reacted so badly at first."

"I wouldn't have expected you to react any differently. You actually took it better than I would have imagined." I smiled.

"Why don't we go downstairs, snuggle up on the couch and watch TV?"

"That would be lovely."

We went down the stairs holding hands (which would be very dangerous if one of us were to trip and fall). I followed Jenna down the hall from the kitchen to the living room where there were two leather sofas and an LED flat screen TV. We sat down next to each other and curled up under a soft blanket. I fell asleep with my head on her shoulder and her head on top of mine while we were watching the Simpsons.