Maybe We Were Meant to Be (Tay Jardine and Jenna Mcdougall)

All the Underdogs

Jenna:

I woke up with a horrible headache. It felt like someone was drilling a hole in my skull. Somehow I had made it back to my bench in the van; one of the guys must have carried me. Next to me, still asleep, was Tay. Her head was on my shoulder. Her mouth was wide open. I could see drool building up at the side of her mouth, it was adorably disgusting.

I looked up at the front seat, Whak was driving. He was hitting the steering wheel to the beat of a Rufio song. Cam was shirtless, sitting next to him riding shotgun with his feet on the dashboard and his elbow propped against the window, I would have to tell him how stupid and dangerous that was later, he was staring at his phone.

I got out my cell to see what time it was. 10.00 A.M. we should be getting close to the next city, unless we left late last night. I stretched my arms and tried to stretch my legs in the small cramped space in front of me. I still felt half asleep. I was debating whether I should let myself fall back in to my dreams where I wouldn't have this awful migraine or try to stay awake so I would be ready to get set up for tonight's show. I knew I wasn't going to get back to sleep with the horrible headache I had and it wasn't going away by itself, no matter what I wanted to do I had to get rid of it.

I searched under my seat for my bottle of ibuprofen. I pulled out a hairbrush, an empty soda can, a pack of stale crackers, my make-up bag and finally I found what I was looking for. I realized I needed water, I continued rummaging through my mess. "I should organize my shit better" I whispered to myself.

As the headache got better I began to be able to think again. A fuzzy memory floated around my head. I wasn't sure if it had really happened or if it was just a dream. I remembered me and Tay joking around, we were both drunk. I told her to sing something and then we kissed. I figured it was a dream since Tay hardly ever drank and it was even rarer for her to get drunk.

Once we arrived at our destination, I woke Tay up. She didn't look to happy. She glared at me, her eyes only half open. She put her hand on her forehead and groaned in pain. Seeing my sunglasses on the floor of the van she grabbed them and put them on.

"I'm never drinking ever again." she mumbled under her breath.

"Wait, did we both get drunk last night?" I asked in shock, partially hoping that maybe that faded, foggy thought was more than just a dream.

"Yeah, worst decision of my life." she groaned.

"What happened exactly, I'm not sure I quite remember?"

Tay didn't say anything. I wasn't sure if she was trying to remember or if she was thinking about what to say, as if she were hiding something. She was lucky the sunglasses were hiding her eyes so that I couldn't read her expression.

"I don't remember anything interesting happening. We just laughed at everything and then we fell asleep." her voice didn't seem as clear and sure as usual or maybe I was still trying to convince myself that last night we had kissed, as if a drunken peck on the lips was something truly meaningful.

I looked down at my feet in disappointment. I realized she probably had a hangover like me, I handed her the bottle of pills and walked away from the van towards the venue. I figured it was still too early for anyone to be do soundcheck.

I winded through the back halls of the concert hall. I walked past all the dressing rooms, the management office and catering. I decided I wanted to see how big the stage was and how many people would probably be there tonight.

I strolled in, there were rows of movie theatre style chairs. I was always disappointed when we had to play venues like this, there was less room for people to jump around and sometimes there would even be large sections of people sitting.

As my eyes wondered up towards the back of the room my heart rose into my throat, choking me. Up on stage was Hayley, my attempt to avoid her for the whole tour had failed after one day. They were setting up the lights and it appeared that she was blinded by one at the moment. I started turning around to leave, but she caught me.

"Jenna! Stop! Wait!" she yelled in to the microphone.

I reluctantly stayed. I forced myself to look at her. It pained me to see her, but it wasn't as bad as it had been last night. Maybe it was because I wasn't nervously performing in front of hundreds of people or it might have been because I hadn't been as surprised by her presence, but I told myself I was getting over her. My freshly wounded heart told me differently, but I tried my best to silence it.

"I know you've probably sworn to avoid me for the rest of your life. I thought of trying that too, but that's going to be impossible. We need to talk this out."

I stood there like a deer in headlights. The last thing I wanted to do was talk. I had avoided it at all costs. I knew it would tear open the badly sewn up parts of me.