Maybe We Were Meant to Be (Tay Jardine and Jenna Mcdougall)

I Don't Know Anymore

Hayley:

I hate dating. You have to get to know people quickly to figure out if you are compatible and if they are worth letting yourself get attached to. Unfortunately sometimes half of the couple feels differently from the other and things just can't work out. That's when you have to break up with them and things can get complicated. No matter how many times I've gone through it with people I was dating or a band that just didn't seem right for me, which happened a lot back before Paramore, it was always hard.

It had seemed like the relationship between Demi and I was going well... at first. She was a kind, loving person, but there just wasn't a deep connection and the longer we saw each other the more I felt the emptiness between us. We could have been friends no problem, not close friends though which was part of the problem. I didn't want to hurt her, you never know how anyone will react to a break up. I was especially worried that since she had, had trouble with self harm in the past she would go back to that habit. I decided to call Jenna to see what she thought about the situation. 

"Hello?" Jenna answered.

"Hey, Jenna. Sorry to bug you. I was wondering if I could ask you for some advice."

"Oh, um...ok. I wasn't expecting anyone to call. Tay and I are on vacation. I'm surprised my phone even had a signal here. Go ahead tell me, what's up?" It had been a while since I had talked to her and I had forgotten what her accent sounded like. It was funny talking to her after I had been around only Americans for at least a month.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll try and be quick. So I've been dating Demi Lovato and you know she has bipolar like Tay right and she has struggled with hurting herslef too? Things haven't been great between us and I feel like we aren't meant to be together, so I want to dump her, but I don't want that to trigger her. I don't want her to hurt herself because I selfishly couldn't deal with the relationship." I probably sounded pretty desperate, this problem had been running through my head for days.

"Alright. I understand. Look, you shouldn't treat her any differently because of a mental disorder. She hopefully has it under control now and then there isn't as much of a risk of anything happening. I broke up with Tay even after I knew about her disorder and nothing bad happened because of it. I'm sure Demi is a strong woman, she can deal with a break up." I didn't really consider their 'breakup' real since Jenna still lived with Tay and they ended up getting back together, but I appreciated the advice and took it with a grain of salt. "Now can I tell you something. Wait let me get away from Tay for a moment." she continued.

"What are you hiding from your girlfriend?" I asked suspiciously.

"I found a ring in her luggage, like an engagement ring!" she whispered excitedly. "I was looking for some DVDs and just stumbled upon it." I was shocked by the news. I was over Jenna by now, but I couldn't believe she might get engaged. I was jealous, I wanted to be in such a good relationship. It made me feel lonely, I felt like I wouldn't find the one. 

"That's great!" I said, trying my best to sound truly happy and not secretly incredibly invidious. "I'm assuming you'll say yes?"

"Of course!" she squealed. "I mean I don't see us getting married in the next year, but I can see myself living the rest of my life with her. Thanks for listening, I was about to burst keeping it a complete secret."

"No problem. Thanks for the advice. Talk to you soon. Bye."

"Bye."

I guess now I had to tough it up and break the news to Demi. I called her up and asked if we could meet at a diner that was close to her house. I didn't want to make her travel a long way just to break up with her. She agreed to meet me in a couple hours. I waited impatiently for the time to come. I felt so bad. I hated being the bad guy. I wanted to be a good person, someone everyone loved, but I guess everyone has their bad moments where for the sake of their own happiness they have to be selfish and mean. In the long run we would both be happier.

She finally arrived and I got through it quickly. Things were done. I was single again and Jenna and Tay were getting married.