Maybe We Were Meant to Be (Tay Jardine and Jenna Mcdougall)

Give Me Another Chance

Hayley:

When I had found out about the tour with TA and WATIC (which had been from fans on Twitter; after Jeremy and Taylor had found out about the break-up they didn't have the guts to tell me) I had thought that it would give me a chance to prove to Jenna I still loved her and respected her. I thought long and hard about how to do it, but the longer I reflected on it, the more logic I put behind it and the more I realized that I would just cause her more torture. I had heard it in her voice on the phone, she hated every word she said to me, not because she hated me, no, the complete opposite, she still loved me and if I loved her all I could do was let her go.

We arrived only an hour before showtime, but it was just in time to see Jenna perform. I quickly got off the bus as soon as it parked. I followed the signs from the back entrance to the stage.The band was playing The Edge. I had seen the video for it, Jenna looked so sexy in it, the song was amazing too.

The sight of Jenna made my heart ache. She was so beautiful and energetic up on stage; her blue eyes were glittering from the spotlights, her perfect wavy hair bounced as she jumped around, caught in the moment, fueled by the crowd and her voice was so smooth. I wanted so badly to be able to go back in time and tell myself that she was worth waiting for, that if I cheated I would lose her and then I'd probably slap myself.

The moment our eyes met I felt like someone had stabbed me in the chest, knocking all the air from my lungs and cutting my heart wide open. In that brief moment I saw the pain I had caused her, it dulled the light in her eyes, wiped the smile from her face and made her throat start to close up. She quickly looked away, but the damage was already done. First her voice began to crack, then her legs began to shake and finally she fell. She had lost consciousness.

I ran out on to the stage to make sure she was okay, but I was quickly pushed away by Cameron, who was the closest to me, as the rest of her band mates tried to wake her up. The crowd went silent, it seemed like everyone was holding their breath. A lot of them looked at me confused. Most of them knew about our relationship, but very few knew about the break-up. I guess we would have to explain it later. They probably couldn't understand why I wasn't allowed to go to Jenna.

Cam escorted me back to the dressing room. He pushed me along down the hallway. He was saying something and he didn't sound happy, but I wasn't listening. I didn't really hear words, just muffled grunts, like when you have headphones on. He pushed me through the door, said something else to Jeremy and then rushed back out to the stage.

Jeremy came over started talking, I still couldn't focus, I didn't understand a single word. I don't know what was going on with my head. He came closer and repeated what he had said, but once again it went in one ear, out the other. He looked at me confused. He grabbed my shoulders and shook me lightly.

"Hayley, you okay?"

I blinked a few times, I couldn't seem to form words. I felt lost inside my head. It was a scary feeling, trapped inside the last place anyone wants to be for long.

All of a sudden my mouth started moving, but I didn't realize what I said until a few seconds later. "I think I'm going to be sick." Jeremy backed up just in time.

I didn't know how I was going to manage performing today, I didn't feel physically, emotionally or mentally well. I didn't feel the normal pre-show excitement or nervousness. This was probably going to be the hardest tour we had ever done and we had to do Warped in a tiny van with no A.C. our first year.